two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

i’m still here December 28, 2008

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 4:51 pm

all is well. i don’t know yet if my blog life is over. i am busy playing rock band with S and taking care of my 2 very lovely kids. saw our donor family for littleO recently. all is well there. still taking antidepressants. xmas and hanukkah are over, thank god. littleO is cheeky and smiley and charming, unlike smarty who was massively serious at 8 months old. i miss you all. i have not figured out how to incorporate this blog into my new life without ttc and pregnancy, because honestly, that is what the purpose was. it became so much more than that, but i have not figured out how to turn my nottryingtogetpregnant life into a blog. and i am regularly aware and grateful that the ttc part is over. so grateful. so incredibly grateful. for fuck’s sake. hard years, those. little pieces of me are returning as i shift my obsessiveness away from baby making, deal with my depression, hug my baby, muster some answers and empathy for my 4 year old who broke down in tears in the back seat of the car 2 weeks ago because “i’m so sad that i don’t have a dad”, making gingerbread houses, surviving an emotionally taxing job, attempting to have any semblance of a sex life again,  weeping on a morning when i wake up and find myself in bed with my wife who i love and my son who is snuggled between us holding his arms out for us to put LittleO on top of him so they can both shriek. what can you do except cry? it is just too much sometimes.


6 Responses to “i’m still here”

  1. tonya cinnamon Says:

    im so glad youve posted i wondered how life was treating you all..
    Im glad that your alls children can snuggle and smile at you both and that you all know love and joy 🙂
    hugs to you all!

  2. Bleu Says:

    Good to hear from you.

  3. bri Says:

    good to hear from you, hon. miss you.

  4. Calliope Says:

    duuuuuuuuuude. you have been missed.

  5. Kim Says:

    Missed hearing from you…glad your holidays were good and that your children are perfect and sweet. And for what it’s worth? I would love to hear about any of the above mentioned topics on your blog. Doesn’t always need to be about the baby making. Wishing you and your whole family well. 🙂

  6. Cori Says:

    So glad to see you still breathe!!!

    MIssing your posts.

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