dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

thank god for drugs October 26, 2008

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 9:39 pm

I started the Webbutr!n last week and I am over the hump of the jittery-speedy-floaty feelings. I feel like a cranked out freak the first week I take it and then it mellows out. To answer a commenter’s question, yes I have tried therapy. HAH. Have I ever. Many times. I am a therapy proponent, and I would be a mierable looser without it, but when I take Wellbutr!n (this time and one other time at the beginning of the year – I stopped to attempt breastfeeding), it is so clear to me that something is wrong with my brain. This something is correctable through medication (shocking) and not really so correctable through therapy. Well, maybe I could change my own brain chemistry if I could go live in an ashram for a few years, but that is sooooo not happening.

I only wish I had tried this earlier. For some reason (stigma? stubornness? fear?) it took me years and years of being depressed, and anxious, and loop-thoughty to finally try medication. Instead I went to therapy (to great benefit). I went on spiritual journeys, I was rigorously honest with myself, I surrounded myself with good, honest, loving people. I went to more therapy. I have done it all. But not until this past January did I finally try some effing medication. Like, hello!? Anyway, this pill does not make my problems disappear, but it takes takes a HUGE edge off the depression, and makes it so much easier for me to cope with my problems, even at the lowest prescribed dose. And thankfully, it does not flatten the top end of my emotional range. So things are better.

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8 Responses to “thank god for drugs”

  1. scarredbellybutton Says:

    Glad it’s helping you.

  2. Calliope Says:

    so glad that vitamin W is back on board. I absolutely miss not being able to take it right now. Like you it never made the depression go away but it made the depression not feel like a fat man sitting on my heart.
    You are on my mind often and I wish you would write more- but that is just because I am selfish & want to know all that is going on with you and your family.
    I will point out (like the giant brat that I am) that when I was going through the absolute bowels of depression you urged me to write more and I listened to you and it so fucking helped.
    LOVE YOU!

  3. gypsygrrl Says:

    “this pill does not make my problems disappear, but it takes takes a HUGE edge off the depression, and makes it so much easier for me to cope with my problems”

    THIS is the beautiful of chemical depression ~ and the meds out there to treat it… i am glad to hear you are feeling better and that there is something out there to help.

    i wish i wasnt so subconsciously stubborn and would have stayed on (would get back on) my Effexor. maybe outing myself here will guilt me into starting up again and staying compliant…

  4. Jess Says:

    Glad you’re feeling better. Thanks for the report.

    And here’s another vote for more posts here. I do enjoy them.

    -Jess (original commenter re therapy)

  5. Cori Says:

    Where are you? Are things going well?

  6. Jennifer Says:

    OK, isn’t six week enough tie between posts!? I feel like I am between seasons on the Sopranos!

  7. gypsygrrl Says:

    *ahem*
    miss your writing…
    hope you are all well…

    xoxo,
    gypsy

  8. Cori Says:

    Hope your holidays are happy and merry. Hope you doing well.


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