S talked to her mom today, who is both saying the right thing (‘whatever you guys need’) and pulling the guilt (‘I really want to be there for the birth’) and we are back in the nightmarish land of Mother-In-Law. She called to ask S what the “final decision” is about the birth, and whether she can be there. Who calls to ask this? This is the 3rd time she has asked about it. Sheesh. Back it up bi-atch.
When I made my big concession (which can be read about here and here) a few months ago it was a huge relief. I decided that S could make the decision about her mom and I would deal with it. I have never in the history of this blog had so many comments on a post that wasn’t a. announcing pregnancy or b. announcing a deadbabydisaster. This is a giant heated topic. Two moms, two pregnancies, who makes the decisions.
Her decision is…
MIL can be in the hospital for the labor, visit once, and then come in for the birth.
I think to S this is a big compromise. This is her listening to my needs and wants. This is supposed to make me happy or at least be palatable. I know we have been through this before, my internet friends. I know that almost everyone feels that this should be S’s decision. Ultimately I have let it be her decision. But that doesn’t mean I like it. Her being there for the most important part is sickening to me. I appreciate that S is trying to minimize her time with us, but it doesn’t feel like a compromise at all.
I hate it. I hate every second of it and I have to suck it all up and accept her decision. So I will.
But it fucking sucks. I can pretend to S that I am okay with it, which I am planning to do, but the truth is: I hate it.