I was tagged to do a 6 non-important things / habits / quirks about myself meme (like 2 weeks ago-i’m busy okay?). I decided that instead I will list some of my Super Hero Powers. In our house we like to discuss powers one possesses that might be odd or irrelevant or awesome but are, in fact, powers. Secret powers. And of course every superhero has a weakness, or two. So here goes.
S’s top superhero power is: everyone likes her. And her top fatal flaw/weakness is: the complete and absolute inability to hurry.
One of our best friend’s fatal flaw is the inability to stop telling a story. Like if he sees a movie you haven’t seen he always wants to talk about it, he thinks he’s sharing something unimportant – but you don’t want to know anything – so you say wait, stop, I don’t want to know but he can’t stop. He can’t. Same thing if something is grossing you out. You say ‘eeew M, I’m eating, don’t say anything else about it’ but he can’t stop. He tries to make it not gross, but it is, of course, still gross, and he says it anyway, while you are eating. We have come to believe this is a true weakness of character. His wife’s fatal flaw is running like a girl. A ridiculous, arm flappy crazy run. She knows about it but can’t help it.
This is one of S and my favorite conversations. We imagine our friends in ill fitting outfits. Sometimes we give them Superhero names.
Here are mine:
1. I am an excellent shot. Guns, archery. Great shot. I know this is bordering on an actual super power which is especially odd if you know me IRL, because I’m the least athletic person ever. I discovered the gun talent when we went to a shooting range once, and thought that was it, but a few years ago at the Renaissance Faire (yes I go. I have even purchased the giant turkey leg.) I tried my hand at some old fashioned archery. Lo and behold I kicked everyones asses…the men, and the very athletic S. Thus discovering that I have AIM.
2. I know when people are lying. MAD lie detection skills.
3. I always know what S is getting me for Christmas, or my birthday. I get all House on her ass. Poor woman. She has learned that she cannot answer one single question I ask. If I say, ‘did you already get it for me?’ She now knows to refuse any answer at all, because from such a seemingly innocuous question such as that I will deduce the gift and ruin the surprise. This Christmas she almost got me, but alas, nope. We were at a giant toy store and I couldn’t find her for a few minutes. I thought nothing of it at all (big store – we get separated all the time), but then I saw her walking towards me from a direction other than what I expected. She looked pleased. From that I deduced that she had snuck into the game section, purchased Gui.tar Hero for the Wii, run out of the store, put it in the trunk and was returning from said attempted surprise. I let her think she surprised me until Christmas when she looked smug and said ‘you don’t know what I got you.’
This brings me to me weakness: I have to be right. It’s an ugly weakness. I can’t let anything slide. Could I just give her a little pleasure in buying me a gift? Hell no. I can’t do anonymous donations because I need credit. Is that a pathetic quality in a person or what? Irritating too.
How is gift prediction a superpower? I don’t know. Make it work. What did you expect?
What are yours?