We had to go to see S’s Christian grandparents the day after Thanksgiving. This adjective warrants bold type because I need to highlight their Christianness. They have turned into “love everyone” Christians in recent years, so it is tolerable to be around them, but it wasn’t always. When S was growing up they were fundamentalists, talking shit on gay people, and everyone was going to hell for just breathing. Really. The grandpa got kicked out of the church eldership because S’s mom got a divorce.
You know the internalized homophobic voice we all have in our head? S’s comes directly, explicitly from them. Nothing was implied. They told her that gay people were going to hell. They told S’s brother many years ago not to marry a college girl because that is where they learn about lesbianism.
The grandma is so intense she would have absolutely been the coven leader in another life.
Presently she is part of a more “loving” church and has mellowed a great deal. Somehow she is very loving and accepting of me and LM. She sends me birthday presents. She always sends LM gifts and cards. She is a talented artist, and is more spry than her kids and she’s well into her 80’s. She paints four paintings a week.
But damn that woman has an edge. Freaky. Her house is full of her watercolors…and crosses. Not bloody Jesus crosses but decopage ones. Crosses made of ceramic hearts. Crosses, paintings and large canvases filled with scripture in calligraphy. But she never mentions religion to me anymore.
During our visit she asked us to choose a painting. I picked a beautiful watercolor of a California road. Now I have to decide what to do with it. I’m conflicted because on the one hand I truly hate her. I am also fascinated by her. I know that my wonderful S’s artistic talent comes straight from her. S’s mom is an art teacher and has an MA in fine arts. S is a computer artist. Three generations of women who are professional artists. I like the watercolor.
Anyway, I don’t know yet what I will do with the painting, or what the point of this post is. No idea.