dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

so November 15, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 10:05 am

heard the heartbeat = good.

undecided about the amnio = bad.

not so bad, just more waiting which i must buck up for. S really wants to wait for the results of todays blood test. we get the results next week. no early amnio. S and I got in a fight about it all last night. me feeling like i have no say, her feeling alone in the decision (however that happened). navigating these decisions are never easy for us.

but i am actually doing okay. i am resolved to wait until next week to make the decision, and i’m attempting to be relaxed (hah!) about whether we get the test. 1/342 isn’t sounding likely to me today. so i’ll roll with that.

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9 Responses to “so”

  1. Calliope Says:

    well no matter what, you guys have a plan. And plans are what keep us glued together. waiting a week is going to be hard. No doubt about that.

    & hearing the heartbeat?!?!?! Fucking awesome. Beautiful Space Monkey! She can swallow & blink!

    xo

  2. Kelli Says:

    With my forth pregnancy my results were 1/143 and the doc tried to calm my nerves by giving me a stryofoam ball with 143 tooth picks stuck in it and I had to pull them out until I found the one tinged with blue. Supposedly the point was to see how unlikely it was I pulled the toothpick on number 63 so that made me feel worse. But at least he tried I guess. All was well in my case and I have a 10 year old who tries to act 19. Good luck I know the decisions are so hard.

  3. kjandthekids Says:

    I’m assuming the head, body, heart, lungs, kidney’s…etc looked good 🙂
    Don’t you feel like everything is a wait. TWW. 9 month wait. Waiting for the first trimester to be over …waiting for 25 then 30 then 32 then 34 weeks to pass. The first ultrasound. Why not throw in some other stressful waits too.
    (sorry. That was me attempting to be sarcastic)

    in 1 week this will all be behind you.

  4. Co Says:

    I’m sorry you and S. are struggling with this. The “amnio or no amnio?” decision is one of those hard things for couples because unlike with many other decisions, there is no way to compromise really. It’s a yes/no decision. So, it’s hard.

    Hugs.

  5. Laura Says:

    I’m sure you know the statistics but the reason why they don’t offer amnio in women under 35 is the risk of pregnancy loss (1 in 200) is higher than a chromosome problem. Even though her numbers don’t match her age, its still well above the loss rate. That being said, I opted for CVS (similar loss rate as amino when pregnancy loss for other reason is taken into consideration) even though my risk of Downs was 1 in 270. Such tough choices. Good luck!!

  6. Rosepetal Says:

    I am 34 nearly 35.

    My first baby was stillborn at term for no detectable reason after a perfectly normal low risk pregnancy.

    With my second baby, I had a 13th week statistical test of 1 in 6 and u/s indicated a nuchal fold of 4mm. We waited for the 15th week to have an amnio which confirmed T21 and a severe heart defect. We had a termination, by induced delivery at 16 weeks. A. was already a baby – he even had fingernails. Genetic analysis indicated a “fluke” i.e. not hereditary.

    I am now pg with my 3rd baby. 12 week statistical test was 1 in 4015 and nuchal fold was 1mm. We waited for the 15th week to have a detailed ultrasound. No defects, incl. no heart defects, were found. The genetecist said having had a previous baby with T21 is not in itself a reason to have an amnio if all other indications on this pg were that there was probably not a problem. We therefore decided, whilst knowing that some T21 babies do not show any typical features of T21 detectable by ultrasound, not to have an amnio. I could not face the worst case scenario of having an amnio, having a miscarriage and then finding out nothing was wrong.

    I am now 17 weeks pg and since taking the decision of no amnio, I haven’t thought about it again.

    Of course my results were extreme – 1 in 6 vs 1 in 4015.

  7. twinmomma Says:

    For us the factor on some of the tests they offer was what would we do with the information. Since detailed u/s are the norm with twins, we did not do any of the other tests. In addition, we had already decided that short of a defect either incompatible with life or one that carrying to term meant endangering me or the other twin, termination was not an option for us. I’m not saying this to say it shouldn’t be an option for others, but we knew for us it was not something we we were willing to do. And the risk of loss in an amnio wasn’t worth it for us.

    I have a friend who’s tests all came back perfect, and then delivered a perfect baby girl, complete with three copies of chromosome 21. I don’t say this to scare you, but more to illustrate the unreliability of those tests.

    The reality is, it doesn’t matter what any of US did or how we handled it. It’s what will make this a situation you can deal with. Do what’s right for your family.

  8. Sarah Says:

    I don’t know what to say but that I wish both of you luck….

  9. byrdlady Says:

    Ugh. i’m sorry this is causing so much turmoil. i hope once you get the results the decision is a much easier one to make. i know you two will decide the right thing.


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