Opening scene: I am pooping.
It seems to be lasting an unusually long time (I’m not a guy you know – I’m usually in and out in 1 minute).
I look in the toilet to see what is happening and I am shitting coils and coils of snake into the toilet bowl. The coils continue to amass until the toilet is full of snake. Snake that I just shat out. Suddenly the head of the snakerises above the bowl, and while I’m still seated it slowly, slowly, sinks its fangs into my forearm.
Good lord, right?
We are passing the 14 week mark, which according to many sources is the true, actual beginning of the 2nd trimester. Second set of Nuchal blood tests in 10 days, after which point we will assess whether we want an amnio. Off to continue making the Russian palace cake that is TOTALLY hard and intimidating and I wonder why I do this crap. I have to deliver it tomorrow.