dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

ultrasound scheduled September 26, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 2:35 pm

For next Monday.

Dr. PSS is fitting us in between clients. I’m feeling a little guilty about it, actually. S does not really want to have the ultrasound (she’s concerned about doing so many ultrasounds and how it might effect the baby). I know that ultrasounds are considered “safe” but obstetrics organizations do, in fact, recommend them only when medically necessary, and there have been some rat studies indicating that ultrasounds can be harmful in large doses. My point is that S is not crazy for being concerned, even though it is probably fine.

The truth is, I need to see what is happening in there. We scheduled the nuchal translucency (big ultrasound and blood test combo where they give you statistics for your risk of downs and some trisomies.) for 12w1d, which is 3 weeks from Friday (almost a month!) and I don’t know that I can hang that long for a peek inside.

Next Monday will be 9w4d, and I know that bad shit can happen after that, but for some reason I don’t feel as worried after 10 weeks. The only reason I am worried is that WTF had a miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks (they found dead baby at 11 1/2 week ultrasound), and we have half the same genetic material as she did. This totally freaks me out.

S mentioned the other day that she has a touch of ultrasoud PTSD. I do too. Too many questionable ultrasounds, the dead baby ultrasound. We no longer go into an ultrasound expecting to be reassured. I don’t know why I want one next week then…I guess I just can’t stand the thought of waiting until 12 weeks only to find out that the baby is dead and has been for three weeks. I truly thought this pregnancy would be more fun. I was afraid that I would be afraid the whole time, but I suppose I thought it would be wrong. That excitement would take over. That despite myself I would enjoy this pregnancy dammit. Instead S feels like shit, we have been sick twice (being sick with a child, and a pregnant wife is fodder for its own post, certainly), and after each ultrasound we hope to be reassured, but instead we get confusing information that is not entirely reassuring. This pregnancy has been scary and long.

So, Monday. Monday is in 5 days.

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8 Responses to “ultrasound scheduled”

  1. holly Says:

    I know how we braced ourselves for every u/s during the pregnancy after the m/c. It was very hard to “enjoy” the pregnancy and not be scared every flippin’ second. I was more of a nervous wreck, Lois was much more calm about it.

    I hope this finds you some reassurance.

    BTW – we asked a very experience u/s tech friend and she was pretty convincing when she told us she read the research on u/s damage to a fetus and believes that it must be a very prolonged and very frequent exposure to have negative impact on a human fetus.

  2. Calliope Says:

    I totally get your need for some peeking. If you had to wait until 12w…well that would just be torture.
    Hopefully Dr. PSS will use the swank machine so that she can spot the Blueberry swiftly. When can you guys rent a doppler? Is that something that you want to do or is that considered too much u/s-ing?? I’m kind of clueless.

    sending you soooooo much love!
    xo

  3. ohchicken Says:

    i hope there comes a moment in this pregnancy when you can exhale. until then, sending all my hope to you and s.

    xo

  4. Bri Says:

    I can’t make S. let go of the worry, but I honestly think it’s unfounded and needless. This amount of ultrasounding is not a problem. The vast majority of twins would be born all messed up, since they get them all the time. This is really, really fine. Really, really, really.

    I totally get the PTSD thing. I felt that way throughout.

    I will say that I did manage to basically stop worrying so insanely (I worried but not at the fever pitch) but not until the last bit. Third tri maybe. The amnio made it a gazillion times easier but it wasn’t until the anatomy scan that I think I started to relax just a tad. I know that’s a long way off. Just wanted to say that there will still be excitement.

  5. carey Says:

    Our OB said u/s’s were fine and commented on how often people with twins get them and don’t those kids seem ok?? The concern I’ve heard is if the machines aren’t calibrated properly (not so common in a hospital, but ‘maybe’ in those places that do those 4D ones) and also when people do u/s’s looking for medical issues when there’s been no previous indication of any issues & when untrained people are doing the scanning and if something is wrong, not having the proper training to communicate this to the parent(s). The u/s techs and other doctors we’ve asked have all given this same info.

    Shoot… we’ll just let you know how The Boy comes out 🙂 I’ve lost count at how many he’s had!! And even now, he gets 2 a week for monitoring.

  6. Lo Says:

    Yeah, I’ve heard that stuff about u/s too; however, before we were discharged from the RE, we were getting weekly peeks at Flipper.

    It has not inhibited his ability to kick Co in the rib cage, that’s for sure.

    I’m counting down with you….(do we get crazy tickers this time?)

  7. Kathy Says:

    The sad part about becoming pregnant after a miscarriage is that you have lost your innocence. You’re no longer naive about what could go wrong. Every day is not a joy, it’s a worry. The what-if’s will drive you crazy and it doesn’t stop until the baby is in your arms. The end of pregnancy can be just as bad as the beginning because there are other worries and things that could go wrong. I was 34 weeks and I felt that even though it was early that the baby would be more safe in my arms. She thought otherwise, but she finally came and now she’s safe.

    It will all be worth it. You don’t worry for nothing, you don’t fret for no reason. There is a life at stake, your child. Nothing anyone says or does will make you less worried. The only thing that will help is birth. But all of the worry will be worth it. Very worth it.

    Hang in there.

  8. gold star Says:

    This post, although sad and so true, made me laugh because I pictured you gritting your teeth and clutching S’s hand and grimacing “we’re going to enjoy ourselves, i tell you! damnitt if we aren’t having fun now!”

    I completely understand your need for another u/s. There’s something about the fear of being blindsided that is absolutely crippling. Makes you feel as though your head might pop off.


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