Dr. PSS does, in fact, stand for Dr. Poor Social Skills. We know this about her.
There have been many comments here and IRL about how crappy our doctor is. I’ll tell you what I think. I think she is human and she has less than stellar interpersonal skills. Again, we know this about her. But she comes very, very, very highly recommended from multiple sources.
To be clear I really need to tell you what a difficult patient I am. Dr. PSS was not harping on the sac shape. I was. She was not harping on the sac size. I was. She initially mentioned the sac shape becuase the baby was so hard to find…and ultimately the shape did not thrill her, but she was being very positive. I was the one asking for numbers and milimeters. I was the one asking to look at it with the other machine. I was the one telling her how worried I was.
Dr. PSS, however was calm the whole time, and reassuring. She never freaked out about any of it. She was never negative about any of it. I was. The sac shape thing was something she was concerned about, but I only found that out by asking a zillion questions. Does that make sense? She was trying very hard NOT to freak us out. I did that all on my own…well, with some help from circumstance and a some misinformation (like the heartbeat thing) on her part. To her credit, she initially said the heartbeat looked good, and I was like ‘really?’, ‘what is it supposed to be?’, ‘are you sure?’
She was wrong about the heartbeat being slightly low, so I am going to tell her that, and she will be happy to be informed. She seems to respect that I have some actual knowledge about these things and is always very receptive to my information.
Do I want to ‘inform’ my doctor? No. But she is always very receptive to new information, and does not present herself as the expert who can do no wrong. Which I appreciate. Greatly.
Thank god I have all of you, and all of the knowledge from all your REs. I do wish she was more knowledgeable about fertility and early embryonic development, but the doctors (who are 45 mins away) at the large baby factory were so hoity and such know-it-alls and full of plans and schedules. They didn’t, ultimately, care what we could afford or who we were. We have chosen to use this practitioner because she is not a fertility expert at a big clinic (although I’m sure there are some gems out there who are REs and wonderful, but not in our town.) There are probably better informed OBs who semi specialize in this crap, but we have not found one in our area. And we like Dr. PSS’s midwife, who we will see often for our prenatal care – that is if we ever fucking get to the having a baby part.
I also don’t think Dr. PSS does a ton of ultrasounds in week 6. Her patients are normal people (we hate them) who go in for 8-10 week ultrasounds after getting pregnant by accident. (By the way: “Oops”? Shove your oops up your asshole people. I don’t want to hear “oops” giggly shoulder shrug about getting pregnant ever again.) Sorry, I digress. Also, she is not an ultrasound technician. I often wonder if experienced techs are better than doctors because it is all they do. I have no idea why she performs her own ultrasounds. But she also attends her births, like, the whole thing. She doesn’t pawn her patients off on the on call doctor just because it is a weekend or her day off. I like this about her.
So yes, we are staying with this doctor.
I do wonder how this could have gone differently, though.
I mean if she had found the baby right away, and then measured the heartbeat right away (using the fancy machine) and told us how great it looked. Starting the whole thing with an entirely depressingly empty sac did not put me in a good state. She is not good at anticipating what might be stressful. Like starting us out on the good ultrasound machine? Come on! You went to M.I.T., lady. Anyhoo, I don’t love everything about her, and I certainly don’t think she handled this appointment incredibly well, but she is an incredible doctor, medically, and she spends tons of attentive time with us at every appointment. And when I complained to her about the pregnancy-wheel-due-date-thing she gathered every wheel from around the office and compared the results. Each wheel gave a different date! She laughed with us and wrote down the due date WE wanted, agreeing on the ridiculous and insulting nature of the pregnancy wheel for people like us who know our cycles and our bodies. Sometimes she is awesome. So we are taking the good with the bad.
Also, THANK YOU. Once again, as always, I am immensely appreciative of the support, love and information I get from this blog. You people are incredible. Thank you, thank you, thank you.