dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I’m Surviving, PLUS the best calc.ulator EVER September 11, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 4:39 pm

Thanks for all your concern and info. I am in data mode, which helps me deal with the whole “we-might-loose-the-baby-again” nightmare.

I am not concerned so much with the heart rate or the embryo size anymore. My main issue is with the small measuring sac (it is not actually measuring that small) and the oddly shaped sac. If you know anything more about the sac shape thing, good or bad, or if you have any more comments about our ultrasound pics, please, please share.

.

One consolation I happened upon today was an incredible, and I mean INCREDIBLE, and by incredible I mean ultra fancy and very fucking satisfying cal.culator which tells you average CR.L (crow.n to ru.mp le.gth), heart rate, getatio.nal sac, hcg, and more. The dreamiest part? It is an excell spreadsheet and lets you adjust dates, calculate by F.ET, hcG sh.ot date, ovul.ation date, etc, and then you can look at what the data should be for how many weeks and days you are or WILL BE. I swear to motherfucking god this is the most satisfying spreadsheet I have ever used. EVER. And the numbers seem to jive with other sources, although all numbers and calculators differ somewhat. But I’m telling you, people, I have never seen something like this before. Check it fucking out.

.

The other thing I am deciding to do (yes, just to make me feel better) is change our due date to May 2nd. We have been counting conception date as August 9th, because she gave herself the shot the day before that, but truly she probably did not ovulate until the middle of the night that night, maybe even the morning, which would really be August 10th, which means that at the ultrasound we were only 6w3d, which means that the sac (according to my new fancy calculator) was exactly the right size and the embryo was only measuring 1 day behind. The heart rate was perfect. Now the only unresolved issue is the sac shape. Fuck. Oh and the fact that the baby could die at any moment even if all looks good. Fuck that.

Even if everything goes well next week, we will only be at 7w3d…there are so.many.fucking.hurdles. Have I said fuck enough? Fuck.

Please share sac shape knowledge.

Badly shaped sacs=miscarriage. So we’ll wait to see what happens on motherfucking MONDAY. Can you believe we must wait that long?

I am feeling very sorry for myself today as I am: 1. sick as a dog, 2. taking care of a toddler, 3. researching depressing dead baby shit, 4. silently whispering pleasebeokpleasebeokpleasebeok while trying not to cry, 5. convincing myself that it is over or will be very soon.

The ugly and confusing ultrasound is all too familiar. Fucking fuck.

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15 Responses to “I’m Surviving, PLUS the best calc.ulator EVER”

  1. whathef*ck Says:

    do you want to talk?

  2. TTC4years Says:

    I hold my breath when I read your post now. Be well. We are here through whatever, and when ever.

  3. ~ d Says:

    Making room in my heart for you and S and LM and wee nugget – I think you guys and j and S will all fit. I hope all this is just a little speed bump and you are on your way to a beautiful baby and birth come spring.

  4. Lo Says:

    Oh, Charlotte. Many many hugs. This sucks. Fuck fuck fuck.
    I broke my no vagina websites at school rule to read about the u/s but then I coudln’t post, but I have been thinking of you all day.

  5. carey Says:

    I don’t know if it helps or not with your calculations, but according to our IVF nurse, you ovulate 38 hours after the trigger shot. Is that the shot you refer to above? And yes, that calculator you found is very fancy!! I have played with it some myself!! 🙂

    Sorry I don’t have any sac info. for you, other than what you are finding online. I’m holding onto hope for you both!! I know how much it sucks right now and to be in the waiting game.

  6. drownedgirl Says:

    I googled about sac shapes, and I’m good with google.

    All I found was stuff about very small sacs, ragged and crenellated sacs.

    The only mention of teardropped was in relation to pseudo sacs in case of ectopic.

    Can I suggest you call the doctor and ask her to clarify her concerns? First she was reassuring, then she suggested progesterone, which panicked you? I’m guessing she never intended to worry you so much!

    xx

  7. Jeani Says:

    HI. You don’t know me, but I followed a link from someones journal to your donor’s family after we lost our daughter last year. I found your situation so fascinating, and have been following along. We also own 2 yahoo groups for lesbians TTC and who are pregnant.

    I am also a Labor and Delivery Nurse, and When Jeri was pregnant with the twins (our daughter Jaeci passed away and Jaxen is almost 1) and with our baby Julia that we lost @ 10 weeks, she had about a bizillion ultrasounds. Not to mention I have performed them and picked the brain of many OB’s about them.

    What I know is this. From PERFORMING them, just quick ones to find a position or heart rate, I can make a uterus, gestational sac and baby look any way I want, It is all in the angles you take the pics. Ultrasounds are only has good as the person performing them. I also know that I have never seen a perfectly round gestational sac. EVER. When I saw your ultrasound pics, my reaction was that looks great!

    I know your scared, believe me we have been there, I personally have had 3 miscarriages and 2 ectopics, and jeri has had 3 miscarriages. Seeing the heart beating is awesome, and your measurements look great. I think that the overall shape isn’t as important when it is uniform, not ragged or bulging in any one area. Also the uterus is tear drop shaped in the lining, and maybe it is just going with the flow until it gets bigger.

    I feel strongly that that shape is so insignificant that you doc shouldn’t have even mentioned it. I actually emailed a copy of your pic to a friend off the record, she is an OB and all you measurements, and she said it looks like a healthy pregnancy to me.

    Pregnancy is a crapshoot, there isn’t a way to predict outcomes, my friends baby had a heart rate or 60 @ an ultrsound at 7 weeks. She put little Rose on the bus for her first day of kindergarten.

    I will continue to follow your story, and hope that your family will holding a tiny new memer next year. My email is posted above, and if you ever need to ask questions I can try to help, or just need an ear. My AIM is the same username as the email.

    Be well.

    Jeani

  8. Calliope Says:

    Dude. Jeani ROCKS!!!!!!

    C- I love you & am thinking of you. That you have to deal with this fucking thing AGAIN is just so damn unfair. so wrong in every way. But I have so much hope. Especially reading some of these comments. I hope the hope is finding you as well- that is all that matters.
    xoxo

  9. TTC4years Says:

    We Heart Jeani!

  10. Becca Says:

    Hi, I’ve been lurking here for a while. I have to chime in about sac shapes. We conceived using IUI last March, and our daughter is now a happy, healthy, nine month old.

    When we had our almost-seven-week ultrasound, our sac was teardrop shaped. But nobody mentioned it, and I had to look back at the pictures to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. I was told everything was fine and never worried about the shape or anything.

    So, I just wanted to tell you that a teardrop shaped sac was fine for my baby, and I think it will be for yours, too! ❤

  11. indigoscot Says:

    i personally think your doctor sucks. listen to jeani, she makes way more sense than your doc does. seriously. please tell me you won’t have the same doc for the entire pregnancy???

  12. gypsygrrl Says:

    *placing Queen of The IVP for the DAY crown on Jeani’s head*

    cali is right – you rock!!!

    and C& S – still sending you all the love and hope i can carry in my heart!

  13. Liza Says:

    What everyone else said! And good luck. Lots and lots of luck.

  14. Jude Says:

    Jeani’s the bomb. (I’m a blogfriend of Jeri’s. She’s good people.)

    Love to you guys.

  15. frog Says:

    I don’t know Jeani, but, yeah, she appears to be da bomb.

    Y’all are in my prayers.


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