dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Not fucking good. Again. **with pics and update AND pics link to BIGGER pics September 10, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 9:23 pm

Yes.

Seriously.

But not so bad that we can be entirely clear that it is bad. Yes. Again. Seriously.

What shall I start with? Maybe the beginning.

After we wait and wait, Dr. PSS comes in an does a pap smear. Yes. And asks questions. Seriously. And more questions. And more forms. And more questions. The ultrasound was last. LAST. Can we not have a 45 minutes of talking and exams before we see if there is an effing baby in there? Please?

For the 1st 4 minutes of the ultrasound she found NOTHING in the gestational sac. Nothing. No baby. No yolk sac. Nothing. I cannot describe it. Fuck. I really can’t.

Then she found something. It was like a miracle. S’s uterus is tilted, so maybe that is why? So we find a baby and a yolk sac. The baby is measuring 5mm, which is showing 6w1d (we are 6w4d). Thank god? Then we find a heartbeat, but cannot measure it because this machine doesn’t “do” that. Then she tells us about the shape of the gestational sac. It is NOT round. It is teardrop shaped, and the baby is attached at the smaller end. The sac was measuring 14mm, 15mm and 16mm, averaging 15mm which is a little small. Small. Dr. Pss said she’s optimistic and asked if we wanted to check in a few weeks. A FEW WEEKS? Is she smoking crack? I say howabout a week. She agrees and tells us that we can use the better machine next time.

THE BETTER MACHINE? Why in fuck’s name have we been using the crappy machine? Lady, are you kidding me?

So I ask if we can use the better machine right now. Hello? She agrees. We go into the other room. S gets wanded by the big fancy machine. She found the baby and the heartbeat right away. I asked her to measure the heartbeat. She did, but said she was not skilled at doing so with this new machine. But she got consistent results. Twice she got 120 beats per minute, which she said was a little on the slow side. The measurments she got from this machine showed 5.2mm which registered as 6w2d.
After we left she called S’s cell phone and left a message suggesting that maybe we should put her on progesterone. She said she can’t guarantee that it will help anything, but it can’t hurt. But her progesterone number was fine at 7dpo, it was in the 30’s. This phone call made me feel like she is really concerned, and grasping at straws to help us.

I have pictures, should I upload them?

Here is what we know:

1. it was hard to find the baby

2. baby is measuring 2-3 days behind

3. gestational sac is tear drop shaped

4. we easily found a heartbeat, but it was 120 bpm

Not fucking good. Right? Don’t sugar coat it. I need any information y’all have about this. Next ultrasound is on Monday at 1pm. I cannot, CANNOT, fucking believe that we are in ultrasound hell again. S is in tears. We are a giant mess.

**note: I researched irregularly shaped gestational sac and almost all of those resulted in miscarriage…but it think “irregular” might mean wavy around the edges and not tear drop or pear shaped. Her sac looks plump and round, except it is more ovalish with one smaller end. That was a long way to say tear dropped shaped. Do you guys know anything about this? No, after some researchit looks like her pics ar, in fact, irregular. This is so bad.

This one is from the good machine and shows the tear drop shape.

This view is from the crappy machine and is from a different angle.

**update: I looked at a website (amazingpregnancy-pictures.com) with 6 and 7 week ultrasound postings, and MANY of the pics look pointy on one end. MANY look pear shaped. But out doctor specifically said that it was not the correct shape. She said it was NOT round. WTF?? The heartbeat seems OK. It should go up, but it seems OK for now. I am so confused. Jesus.H people.

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27 Responses to “Not fucking good. Again. **with pics and update AND pics link to BIGGER pics”

  1. carey Says:

    Yes, please upload the pictures. I think it will be easier for me to grasp it all. The heartbeat I am not too worried about right now — after all, it could have started just beating a few days ago & it starts off slower and gets faster as time passes. I am not worried about the 2-3 days behind either — that is VERY dependent upon the person doing the measuring.

    Hang in there… I am very hopeful for you guys!! I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this stress. However, a lot can happen in one week and I think you guys have a great chance of GOOD things happening!!

    And I am not sugar-coating anything 🙂 I wouldn’t do that to you guys!!

  2. bleu Says:

    I am so sorry hun, this is just so fricking much BS for you both.
    I do not know about sac shapes. My only suggestion is to make sure she is on low dose aspirin. Just for safety sake in case there is a clotting thing going on. I do not think, but am not sure, if you have had all her antibodies tested, but the low dose aspirin doesn’t hurt anything and is a possible help.

    Just grasping for you both really.

    Much much much love

  3. DON’T WORRY !!! Ok, I know that is NOT possible.
    I think from what you said, the doctors are just being precautious because they know what you’ve been through and are trying to help you guys feel more secure. Progesterone hasn’t been proven to really do anything….but it hasn’t NOT been proven to help.
    I would think the sac would look like that because of the angle of her uterus ?

    I’m SO EXCITED FOR YOU !!!!
    You are only 6 weeks. MOST DOCTORS won’t even ultrasound until 8 weeks out here.
    I’m SO glad I checked back before signing off. This news would have KILLED me while in NY.
    Congratulations on your new baby !

  4. I am very sorry to hear you didn’t have a more positive appointment. I don’t have much to offer, and I can’t say it’ll be uplifting, but here goes:

    I’ve had two miscarriages. In the first one, the ultrasound at 7w2d showed an embryo measuring (at its biggest) 6w2d. The heartbeat was around 115, and I miscarried.

    In the second one, I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks and the embryo measured 5w6d. No detectable heartbeat, but the doctor said it was early for that. At 7w1d, I had another ultrasound. That showed the pregnancy started as twins and that the embryo now measured 6w1d. So it grew two days’ worth in a week, and the heartbeat was considered slow at 115. A week later there was no heartbeat and no growth, and I had a D&C. (That pregnancy started as identical twins.)

    My question: how do her beta numbers compare to last time, and when were they taken? They seemed high to me, but I realize I don’t know how many days past ovulation they were taken. What did the doctor say about her numbers? And in terms of last time — did you get pathology? I seem to remember some kind of drama, but I don’t recall the specifics.

    I hope the two of you hang in there. Unfortunately, if this pregnancy is going to miscarry, there is nothing you can do to change it. And it’s ENTIRELY possible that all will be fine in a week. I’d keep your spirits up and hope for the best; it’s about all you can do.

    Hang in there.

  5. charlotte Says:

    aspiring baker:
    the pathology results were, unfortunately, inconclusive. her betas are high, but definitely very normal and were done on 20dpo and 22dpo. We did not do betas last time.

  6. owlie Says:

    sorry to hear your crappiness, not clever enough to offer any knowledge about this stuff but wanted to send positive thoughts and say I hope you are all coping OK with the horribleness.

  7. jennifer Says:

    I’m sorry you are going thru this crap, but I don’t think you should give up hope. I know how hard it is to live in this limbo: Not a disaster but not a green light for everythings okay. But maybe this will help: My sacs were both teardropped shaped for the entire time we had sonograms in those early weeks. And the babies came out just fine. I can email sonogram pics if you want proof!

    My RE told me that it is normal to have a range plus or minus four days when measuring. It all has to do with the doctors’ skills/experience.

    Your heartrate seems right on target for this six plus weeks. What is your doctor talking about? And tilted uteruses makes finding anything really hard, right?

    Not blowing smoke here, just offering my perspective. I think you have more than enough to hold onto. Your doctor seems like a bit of an ass. I’m sending positive thoughts…..

  8. Hope Says:

    I’m trying to take a wild guess as to why a teardrop shape is “bad.” Maybe it has something to do with the ability of the goodies inside to pass into the embryo? I can’t really tell from the pics, but is the opening pinched closed? It’s so hard to tell from those pics, isn’t it.. Don’t listen to me, I’m totally just guessing.

    U/S are so imprecise. They take a slice through and really take a skilled hand to know what they are looking at. Your doc probably spent more time looking at yours because she was looking for possible problems. Maybe she tried to dredge up every possibility? Could you have your doc send you to the hosp or somewhere to have a technician that knows what s/he is doing do it? Or would that cause animosity…

    I guess there is absolutely nothing to do at this point but wait and hope that the little one continues to grow.

    Sending peace to get you through the week.

  9. Co Says:

    Okay, I am not sugarcoating anything. I wouldn’t do that to you. Here’s what I know.

    1. it was hard to find the baby
    Only on the crappy machine. She found the baby on the good machine right away. I saw Embryo-O twice in one week at 7 wks, once on my R.E.’s super-duper machine and I could see big blobby Embryo-O and the HB clear as day, and again a few days later on my then-OB’s crappy machine and I couldn’t see anything but fuzziness. She saw it and said it looked good and if I hadn’t experienced my master-wandin’ R.E.’s machine, I’d have been none the wiser. But at such an early u/s, I think the crappy machine may have made all the difference there.

    2. baby is measuring 2-3 days behind
    That is okay. Even on my R.E.’s mega-good u/s machine, the date the machine gives for the pregnancy is plus-or-minus 2 days. So being 2 or 3 days behind or ahead? Not cause for concern. For comparison, Embryo-O measured 1 day behind at my 6w2d u/s, and was measuring 3 days ahead a week later. So, there’s at least 2 days of wiggle room with those dates.

    3. gestational sac is tear drop shaped
    I know nothing about this.

    4. we easily found a heartbeat, but it was 120 bpm
    I wouldn’t worry about the rate yet. This early, I think, the main thing is seeing a nice, strong HB. 120 bpm does not sound weak to me at all.

    I wonder if, because Dr. PSS had difficulty finding the embryo on the first machine, she really started looking for problems. Maybe the tear-drop shape *is* a big problem. I really don’t know about that, hon. But nothing else you said seems like huge cause for concern. So, I guess you just have to wait it out… which SUCKS. I love you guys and hope this is just an unnecessary scare and things will look more hopeful at the next one.

  10. jenny Says:

    I think your doc is being very cautious with you guys because of what happened last time. And I second what everyone else has said about u/s and how their outcomes depend in large measure on the skill of the wand-wielder.

    I have hope for you. ((hugs))

  11. TTC4years Says:

    I have no experience here, and I am sorry that you couldn’t leave the office with joy in your hearts. Why is the universe not fair to good people?

  12. Kathy Says:

    I think your doc is being overly cautious. My ultrasound pic at 6 weeks, 4 days was not round either. Here is my pregnancy website http://www.geocities.com/kathylindababy if you look at the pictures you can see.

    Best of luck to you!

  13. gold star Says:

    hey there. I have little information to offer, I’m sorry. But two days behind seems like no big deal. E’s miscarraige happened after ultrasound showed sac was a week behind.

    I’m so sorry you’ve got to wait for a week. What hell.

  14. Calliope Says:

    I wish I had something brilliant to say that would put your mind at ease. But I will just yield to all of the women that have commented with expertise. I have no fucking idea how you are going to make it to Monday. What the hell?!
    I am just a little frustrated at the Universe right now.
    I am sending you & S so much love.
    & yes, I have hope.

  15. Bri Says:

    I am sorry to say that I don’t have much to offer, either. I have no idear what shape my sacs were, though I know the penguin’s yolk was SMALL and that was bad. I am not sure what to say about that, but none of the rest worries me – heartbeat, findability, measuring a few days off – all fine. This is more limbo hell. I can’t believe it. I love you. I am sorry there is more sucking. Fuck.

  16. shelli Says:

    the sac looks GREAT!

    Go here: http://www.ob-ultrasound.net/omeasure.html

    NO SAC IS COMPLETELY ROUND.

    EVER.

    Progesterone won’t hurt. And it IS early.

  17. Trista Says:

    I have nothing to offer that others haven’t already. but I can offer my sympathy and empathy and love.

  18. vee Says:

    Nothing concrete or useful to add really. Maybe it’s simply a case of “too early to say for sure” and your doc wasn’t going to say anything she wasn’t sure about, including saying “I’m sure everything is just fine”.

    But now you’re back in waiting hell and I’m so sorry for you both. Hope you get some clarification soon.

  19. DrLaura Says:

    In my experience, anything above 100 bpm is normal at that gestational age/size. Here is a reference from the medical literature. (it might not be a definitive reference but it gives you an idea of how heart rate relates to gestational age/size)

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=8921130&dopt=AbstractPlus

    Not trying to sugar coat anything – just hoping to provide information.

  20. Rachel Says:

    I wish I had something to offer, but I’ve never had a pregnancy make it to the point where you are. I don’t want to say don’t worry because that’s much easier said than done. With my last miscarriage, my husband forced me to go out and do stupid stuff which I thought I would hate but it did help. Maybe it would help you and S, too?

    You’re both in my POSITIVE thoughts. Please don’t give up hope…

  21. amanda Says:

    i’m sorry i know nothing about this, but i want you to know we’re thinking about you. Not that it means (or helps) much, but it’s there, nonetheless…

  22. drownedgirl Says:

    6 and a half weeks is just on the cusp of being able to assess viability. I’ve had many scans then. I am always hoping there will be definitive good news and I’ll be out of my misery. What you get tends to be something a bit borderline, almost always.

    It’s like testing early. You get a line. But will it turn out to be a chemical? It’s just too early to be sure.

    If we could wait a week, the answer would be clearer.

    My thoughts: measuring a few days either way means nothing. The margin for error is +/- 5 days.

    Irregular gestational sac means ragged and not oval.. I don’t know about teardrop.. except one of my sacs (twins) is much bigger than the other and one is elongated.. I have had 4 scans, 3 different scanners, and they have all said it’s fine. I swear, the sac looks like your picture!

    Re heartbeats, Karaoke Diva is anxious over a hb of 115 at about the same stage, I just posted on her blog.

    http://www.fetalsure.com/fetal-heart.html

    “Week 6 starts at 103 and ends at 126 bpm”

  23. drownedgirl Says:

    “From 5.5 to 6.5 weeks, an embryonic
    heart rate of less than 100 beats per minute is normal”

    http://www.sogc.org/guidelines/public/161E-CPG-June2005.pdf

  24. tbean Says:

    sorry that there is more waiting and uncertainty hell–I hope you find ways to make it through this long week

  25. Jude Says:

    7w1d

    Those were my sacs at 7w1d. One of them is def pear shaped. Neither is round. They measured 6w3d and 6w4d.

    10w1d twins

    And then when we learned we lost one. Seems to be the tear drop one. but it’s hard to tell because the baby’s not in the “pinch” anymore.

    Either way, my babies were 4 and 5 days behind and we lost one and birthed one. So I think there’s no way to tell and just hope for the best. That’s a good heartbeat. Breathe. Hope.

  26. Kim Says:

    This was a few days ago, I guess, BUT – that looks like every early u/s photo I’ve ever seen. And u/s is not an exact science – if S’s uterus is tilted, it can make it very difficult to get an accurate picture. I wouldn’t worry (too much) until there is a more concrete reason to worry. Like that’s possible. But still.

  27. Kelly Says:

    I know this is really old but I’d love to hear an update. I am in a similar situation with a triangular shaped gestational sac. I am beside myself.


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