I got very close to canceling tomorrow’s ultrasound. I almost convinced myself that tomorrow is too early, and too scary. What if there is no heartbeat? What if the measurements are a little off? It is so early that it is too early to see much. Even if everything looks good would I really be relieved? I wrote out a nice note asking to reschedule for another day this week (Thursday is 7 weeks). I put it in the fax. I dialed the number, and as it was being sucked into the fax I ripped it out. I just can’t handle *zero* information tomorrow. Whatever we see, I need to see it. I can’t wait. What was I thinking trying to reschedule it? Clearly I am insane. BTW, the appointment tomorrow is at 4:45 pm, and Dr. PSS is alwaysalwaysalways late, so I won’t be able to post tomorrow until maybe 7pm. I think I might rather poke myself in the eye with sharp sticks than wait all day for this ultrasound.
Almost September 9, 2007