dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

The Un-RE Experience August 23, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 3:41 pm

Sometimes having an OBGYN rocks, other times, not so much. I called today to schedule our ultrasound and beta and I can’t do either until Monday when Dr. PSS (Poor Social Skills) and TF Midwife (Touchy Feely Midwife) return from vacation. Apparently the other doctor in her practice does not think a beta will yield any useful information at this point. I could almost agree with her if she gave me a good argument, but I know it is coming from an uninformed position.

Additionally, the nurse I was talking to, Nurse Nice, is obviously very nice, but is equally uninformed. When calculating my due date she was using that ridiculous wheel thingie that should be outlawed. OUTLAWED, I say. It only has an option to caculate the due date based on LMP (last mentrual period) and it is ridiculously based on a 28 day cycle. I know, I know, there must be some standardized way to calculate a due date. But that thing is *antiquated* and in my over reactive state I felt like the wheel was insulting my intelligence and women’s bodies in general. Technically this is not just a weird grievance, either. Important decisions are sometimes made about the pregnancy, based on how far along one is, and sometimes a week makes a difference.

Anyway, back to me. So Nurse Nice is trying to get a due date and week calculation so she can tell the front desk chick when to schedule the ultrasound. I want it at 7 weeks, far enough along to see a heartbeat, but well before the 7w5d mark which was when we had disastrousconfusingultrasound last time. So she’s giving me a time frame that is almost a week later than I wanted the ultrasound and saying stuff like (now remember she is nice and i have never had any problems with her):

her: “It [our calculation and hers] is all in the same ballpark”

me: I’m thinking: no, no it isn’t…you are giving me a due date that is almost a week later than mine, but I say“ok.”

her: “Yeah, our calculations are really the same,”

me: No, no they are not. “ummm….”

her: “Well, she could have ovulated within a few days of when you think she did.”

me: “Um, no she couldn’t have, we did a trigger shot.” And I already told you that.

her: “Oh, I know.”

me: “Okay, so we know she ovulated on the 9th.”

her: “Well my calculations say it was probably around the 11th”

me: “Well, no, we know it happened on the 9th.”

her: “Actually, conception can happen withing 2 or 3 days of ovulation anyway.”

me: “No, actually the egg must be fertilized within 24 hours after ovulation and taking S’s age into account it is probably more like 12 hours.”

her: “So, S should be missing her period in the next day or two.”

me: “Actually her period was due yesterday.”

her: “But she is only 3 or so weeks along, so we should schedule the ultrasound accordingly.”

me: “Wait. We know when she ovulated. She is 4 weeks pregnant today.”

her: “My calculations say 3 weeks, but it is not really that big of a difference.”

me: “But we know when she ovulated,” at this point I almost beat the phone on the counter a few times “and we know the length of her luteal phase. Her period was due yesterday.”

her: “Why don’t we open up a window from the 5th to the 15th of September, combining your calculations and mine and see when the doctor is available, and that will settle it.”

Settle what? The fact that she ovulated on the 9th? SHE DID. Settle the fact that she is 4 weeks pregnant today? SHE IS. The fact that her period was due yesterday? IT WAS.

What a surreal conversation that was. That nice nurse was like white knuckling that pregnancy wheel. Holding onto it for dear life. Nothing I said mattered. People are crazy.

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21 Responses to “The Un-RE Experience”

  1. How irritating. We went several rounds like that in our first pregnancy (the one that turned out to be molar).

    Our strategy the next time? We lied. Tell them the LMP date that gives them the due date you know is correct.

    Worked like a charm for us…. 🙂

  2. K77 Says:

    How annoying.

  3. megan Says:

    ugh, the wheel from HELL. it is totally ridiculous, and i just don’t get the extreme loyalty to it. our OB, who is about as crunchy as we can get here in central OH, would not budge on the EDD. luckily with quinn, it was only a day off, but it was pissy the whole pregnancy.

    your Nice Nurse?? wow, i don’t know how you didn’t slam the phone on the counter…..

    and, uh, belated yiippppeeee to you and S!

  4. temmerling Says:

    Don’t you hate it when people who hold power over you are less educated than you are on the thing you’re discussing.

    And we all know that the difference of almost a week is CRUCIAL when you’re talking about thinks like beta levels and development and such at this early stage.

    I like Jen’s solution.

  5. ohchicken Says:

    unrelated to this post: i love the grover ticker…
    perfect.

  6. carey Says:

    LOL We’ve had this same conversation many, many times… ahh… such fun!! And of course, my wife the doctor will bust out with all sorts of other info. to further confuse the poor nurse!! And then start mentioning blastocysts and IVF… 🙂 Poor nurse doesn’t know what to do with that!!

  7. Sully Says:

    I completely agree…the wheel should be burned in a sacraficial bon fire to all the pregnant and formerly pregnant women of the world!

    Lets hope that TFMW will let you have the ultrasound when YOU need to have it…not when they THINK you should!

  8. Calliope Says:

    yikes! How fucking frustrating! Really, if she wasn’t nice, would you have smacked her through the phone?

    I think lying is mandatory at this point- it sucks to have to, but at least it puts you guys back in the power position.

    xoxoxo

  9. jenny Says:

    I am also with jen: Lie lie lie. Count 14 days back from when you know you ovulated. That wheel thingie is annoying as all get out. I have to lie to my insurance company that I even HAD a period. Dude, my last actual period was in like February. They have to have a lmp that jives with my due date to “for billing purposes,” I told them they need a IVF box to check on that damn form, then, I lied to them.

  10. gold star Says:

    this post is hysterical.

  11. Co Says:

    The due date can be adjusted later, certainly, and often is b/c the wheel thingie is only so useful. But how frustrating that the OBGYN’s office won’t give you a couple of betas or an earlier u/s for peace of mind.

    My MW actually calculated my due date in several different ways… she did the wheel thing based on last period, then she calculated the due date based on ovulation since I knew the day, then she was going to recalculate my due date based on the length of one of my typical cycles which would’ve pushed it even later (but in the end didn’t because with the meds and trigger shot, I O’d significantly earlier than I do naturally so she said that would be too unrealistic a due date). In the end, my official recorded due date is the latest one she could reasonably assign me… the one based on the wheel thingy. She said it’s better to write down the later one because I think, at peril of losing her license, she will have to induce me if I don’t go into labor by 42 weeks. So, she wanted to give me the latest possible due date she could reasonably assign me just so we have options. I’m happy with that.

    Good luck.

  12. indigoscot Says:

    yeah, we got “the wheel” treatment too. every time i would say NO we are due on aug 9th but the doc would say aug 11th. whatever, we knew when i ovulated, there was an u/s to prove it!!!!

  13. nycphoenix Says:

    How annoying. Surreal and maybe funner after its passed

    Or maybe not then we’ll just have to steal the wheel and burn it in their parking lot.

  14. holly Says:

    It’s amazing how much we know about TTCing, ovulating, phases, etc. I would be incredibly frustrated too.
    Our OB came up with a due date different than we had figured so we always stuck with ours.

  15. Lo Says:

    I had difficulty explaining to a straight friend (whose due date is the same as C’s) that we know more precisely when we conceived than she does. Well, you don’t know the day, says she. Ummmmm….yeah. We do.

  16. Kim Says:

    I’m with others here: lie, lie, lie! I plan to lie my head off if I ever get pregnant, since I’m a late ovulator and have already had this kind of hassle over 7dpo progesterone checks… which the nurses INSIST on telling me I need to go for on cd21. Ummm, hello, most cycles that’s only like 2 or 3dpo for me!

    Lie, lie, lie!

  17. Bri Says:

    Lying. Agreed. People are the worst.

  18. veeandjay Says:

    Ack! I can’t bear it when people would rather rely on the wisdom of a plastic wheel (or other such prop) rather than educate themselves about the field they work in! It reaches a point of ridiculous where it’s almost like some kind of cult belief! The Cult of the Wheel Thingie!

  19. sheslostcontrol Says:

    I agree. How annoying. People are insane.

    -K

  20. oneofhismoms Says:

    Wow. The funny thing is, she probably thought YOU were hard-headed. What a funny post! (I liked the part about the phone banging. You should have done it!)

  21. byrdlady Says:

    How frustrating! i think they really just think we have no idea what we’re doing sometimes–not realizing that we’ve all been researching, obsessing, and LIVING these cycles for years.
    Most of the time i feel like i’m telling the RE nurses things they don’t already know!


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