dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

1st beta number…**with update August 31, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 1:06 pm

…is 2432 on 20DPO. This seems a bit high? But I’m happy it is there. The nurse told me that we won’t be able to get today’s beta (the second one which shows doubling time which is the most important part of the whole deal) until TUESDAY. Stupid Labor Day.

**YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKING ME OUT. Yes, she did release more than one egg – we know she released two. Is this beta really *higher* than those of you who had twins?!? Did any of you have such a high number with a singleton? Can the higher number just be from two corpus luteums? No that would effect the progesterone. Now I must madly Go.ogle things. I was trying to be calm about it and not freak out because I thought the number was not as important as the doubling time, but maybe the number IS important. I want to be careful about the words I use here, so I will just say I was NOT PLANNING on two babies. Sweet jesus.

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rescheduled ultrasound August 29, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 2:06 pm

First, S did forget to go get her beta at the lab this morning, so I reminded (well, nagged) her and she did it at lunch. She’ll go back in 48 hours. We must now wait until Monday for the results. Damn. I’m getting increasingly agitated as these tests and milestones approach. The next one is the ultrasound which has now been scheduled and rescheduled 3 times because Dr. PSS is super ultra busy this month and originally I gave them the wrong date of when I wanted it (I got confused by all the “wheel” talk). Like you care. End result: we have the 1st ultrasound scheduled for September 10th which is 6w4d. I am terrified that this is too early and we won’t see a heartbeat, but I am really impossible to please about this because I need it to be before 7w5d. So basically there is a 7 day window and they picked the early side of it, and this is the only time they have. Is this OK? Will I regret it? I think that one should be able to see a heartbeat and take an accurate measurement at 6w4d, right?

Sweet lord, the waiting. I’m finding it very satisfying to update the ticker.

p.s. an ode to my new labelmaker is forthcoming.

p.s.s. my birthday is next week.

 

beta

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 9:43 am

S is supposed to go for a beta this morning, but I bet a lot of cash she forgets to go. She really doesn’t want one, I think. Anyway, I am over the sadness of my family pregnancy news and I have moved on to feeling primarily excited, thank god. I am in the familiar place where the stress of TTC dissolves and all that I gave up, neglected and didn’t have time for in my life comes a crashing down. So, yeah, I still need to make money. I am setting up a cake website and I’ll be asking y’all for input soon. I might just huck my previous dream job and the masters degree so I can bake cakes, but every job option seems scary right now.

Succeeding is overrated :).

 

all good things are not equal August 27, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 4:30 pm

OK, so there is someone in my family who is like a brother to me and he calls my mom “mom” and I have known him for 18 years. I will not go into the details because it would be a soap-opera-y novella, but just trust me that he is like family. He loves out of state, and he just got married in July. His now wife used to be so anti kids that it was not even a vague option for her to have babies. Over the years she softened to the idea, and as soon as he proposed, they decided they really did want kids after all but would wait until they were married to start trying.

Try they did…on their honeymoon. And pregnant they got.

If you asked me to choose when they would be pregnant, I would say: right now. If you asked me if I would wish upon anyone I love the misery, blood, tears, fighting, emotional drain, changes of plans, jealousy and brokenheartedness of unsuccessfully trying to make a baby, I would say: never. Am I happy for them? Yes. Am I happy for S that she has someone to be pregnant with? Yes. Totally. Hey, thank fucking god we are pregnant, right? Otherwise this news would have sliced me right open.

So why am I close to tears? These are not happy tears, although I am very, very happy for them. These are the tears of someone who trudged through hell (you know these trenches full of shit all too well) every month for years to get pregnant and someone else did nothing but have sex a few times, and the result is the same. Pregnant. Ultimately, we played a hellish lottery for over 2 years and they played a fun lottery for 2 days, and we both won. Good news for them. Good news for us. But I still feel like crying.

 

our generation August 25, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 10:07 pm

I saw a brand new minivan today with a Ni.ne Inch Na.ils sticker on the back. On a minivan.
Don’t get me wrong, I was once a minivan hater, a mini van judger, and now I would covet one if it was not a gas hog.

I’m just saying. Those stickers used to be on binders. Patches on backpacks – not sewn on but adhered with safety pins. To black backpacks. By the freaky kids (I wish I was even cool enough to be a freaky kid) who smoked out under the bleachers. Not on minivans.

 

send some love… August 24, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 9:58 pm

…to J at Cheese and Whine. She never wants to need anything (and we all know how smart and self sufficient she is) but I really think she needs some love as she waits for her eggs, which were not as plentiful as one would hope, to do very magical and scientific things with sperm before they put some back in. So go give her some good mojo, please, because this IVF shit is scary as fucking hell. She is one of the most supportive, honest, and generous people I have ever met and she is my friend, in real life and online. Fucking hell.

 

The Un-RE Experience August 23, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 3:41 pm

Sometimes having an OBGYN rocks, other times, not so much. I called today to schedule our ultrasound and beta and I can’t do either until Monday when Dr. PSS (Poor Social Skills) and TF Midwife (Touchy Feely Midwife) return from vacation. Apparently the other doctor in her practice does not think a beta will yield any useful information at this point. I could almost agree with her if she gave me a good argument, but I know it is coming from an uninformed position.

Additionally, the nurse I was talking to, Nurse Nice, is obviously very nice, but is equally uninformed. When calculating my due date she was using that ridiculous wheel thingie that should be outlawed. OUTLAWED, I say. It only has an option to caculate the due date based on LMP (last mentrual period) and it is ridiculously based on a 28 day cycle. I know, I know, there must be some standardized way to calculate a due date. But that thing is *antiquated* and in my over reactive state I felt like the wheel was insulting my intelligence and women’s bodies in general. Technically this is not just a weird grievance, either. Important decisions are sometimes made about the pregnancy, based on how far along one is, and sometimes a week makes a difference.

Anyway, back to me. So Nurse Nice is trying to get a due date and week calculation so she can tell the front desk chick when to schedule the ultrasound. I want it at 7 weeks, far enough along to see a heartbeat, but well before the 7w5d mark which was when we had disastrousconfusingultrasound last time. So she’s giving me a time frame that is almost a week later than I wanted the ultrasound and saying stuff like (now remember she is nice and i have never had any problems with her):

her: “It [our calculation and hers] is all in the same ballpark”

me: I’m thinking: no, no it isn’t…you are giving me a due date that is almost a week later than mine, but I say“ok.”

her: “Yeah, our calculations are really the same,”

me: No, no they are not. “ummm….”

her: “Well, she could have ovulated within a few days of when you think she did.”

me: “Um, no she couldn’t have, we did a trigger shot.” And I already told you that.

her: “Oh, I know.”

me: “Okay, so we know she ovulated on the 9th.”

her: “Well my calculations say it was probably around the 11th”

me: “Well, no, we know it happened on the 9th.”

her: “Actually, conception can happen withing 2 or 3 days of ovulation anyway.”

me: “No, actually the egg must be fertilized within 24 hours after ovulation and taking S’s age into account it is probably more like 12 hours.”

her: “So, S should be missing her period in the next day or two.”

me: “Actually her period was due yesterday.”

her: “But she is only 3 or so weeks along, so we should schedule the ultrasound accordingly.”

me: “Wait. We know when she ovulated. She is 4 weeks pregnant today.”

her: “My calculations say 3 weeks, but it is not really that big of a difference.”

me: “But we know when she ovulated,” at this point I almost beat the phone on the counter a few times “and we know the length of her luteal phase. Her period was due yesterday.”

her: “Why don’t we open up a window from the 5th to the 15th of September, combining your calculations and mine and see when the doctor is available, and that will settle it.”

Settle what? The fact that she ovulated on the 9th? SHE DID. Settle the fact that she is 4 weeks pregnant today? SHE IS. The fact that her period was due yesterday? IT WAS.

What a surreal conversation that was. That nice nurse was like white knuckling that pregnancy wheel. Holding onto it for dear life. Nothing I said mattered. People are crazy.