Before begin I want to share that I might be done with my current stage of feeling whiny and sorry for myself. The crying has stopped and I feel more normal. It helps that interesting things are happening with our pee sticks.
Oh, pee sticks. S pees on so many more sticks lately. So far the HPTs have been slowly fading to nothing, as have the OPKs. The Clearblue sticks have had a strong estrogen line with a LH line that is getting fainter. Yesterday’s sticks with first morning urine looked like this:
Cheapie HPT: negative (only squintable faint line)
Cheapie LH: positive (darker than the control)
Clearblue monitor stick: estrogen line was half as light as usual (indicating there is more estrogen than usual which usually registers as a HIGH on the monitor), and LH line was present, not dark like a Peak day, but there, for sure.
This mornings sticks look like this:
Cheapie HPT: negative – same as yesterday
Cheapie LH: medium light line that is way lighter than the control.
Clearblue monitor stick: same as yesterday
We are thinking that she surged yesterday, but we obviously don’t know if she will ovulate. I think she is going to go to WTF and RM’s house tonight for a drive by, but I am feeling nervous about it. Ultimately I think we both want to do it so we feel like we are doing *something*, and we know it probably won’t work. If the lining isn’t there or she doesn’t ovulate or it is not a plump egg, it just won’t work at all, is our thinking. We won’t be crushed when she gets her period because we are expecting that she needs the Clomid. Well we might still be crushed, but it won’t be harder than if we did not try.
I am definitely feeling more nervous about it than S. She said she will not be more nervous if it works (we get pregnant), than if we waited a cycle, but I think I will be more nervous. Good lord.