…is hard to do.
We had lunch and a 3 hour talk, in the park, with S’s brother (UD) and his wife (H). A few months ago we decided after MUCH painful deliberation to get me pregnant, asked them to donate again, and they basically said NO without explanation. We have not seen or spoken to H in six months! Anyway, long story short: we worked it out-ish. It was a good start, we cried, we were honest, and I was able to see the whole thing from all of our perspectives. One of the things we all agreed on is what a terrible communicator UD is about all things emotional.
Forgiveness is a bitch.
Beforehand it feels insurmountable and VERY unappealing to me. It feels like giving up, like condoning someone’s bad behavior, like saying to the world “step all over me please” because I will forgive you anyway.
In reality, once I forgive, I can see how utterly exhausting it is to hate someone. But I can’t do it until I’m ready. And the time it takes me to be ready gets less and less as I get older. Thank heavens.
I still don’t entirely trust UD and H, but the repairing has begun. For those of you who were around when the shit with them was going down, you know what a big deal this meeting was. S put it in perspective last night when she said that our experience with them was worse than the miscarriage for her. Yeah.
S’s D&C follow up appointment is today. Thank you all for your info, website suggestions ans reasurrances. Hopefully we will get more info from Dr. PSS today.