two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

it’s over May 21, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 3:42 pm

This weekend was surreal, sad, and long. It climaxed yesterday at LM’s best friend’s 3 year old birthday party, pony rides and all, which was thoroughly depressing. S, who is usually not jealous or spiteful joined me for some good old fashioned bitterness and suckitude as as watched ALL of the other families compare their new babies and pregnant bellies. It was just awful.

Today was worse.

We dropped Monster off at a friend’s house this morning, went in for a short consult at 8:45, put two prescription pills (which dialate the cervix) in S’s vajayjay, and waited for our noon appointment. Then she took her other pills and went in.

At least the D&C is over. S took a Xanax and half a Vicodin. And another Vicodin when it was over. The whole thing was shitty. The most painful experience of her life, and that coming from a woman with over ten tattoos, some of which she fell asleep during.

After the *speculum* hurt her, I knew she did not have enough drugs. Honestly. What is wrong with doctors? She prescribed 800mg of ibuprofin and 1 mg of Xanax. The Vocidin was given to us be friends! And it still wasn’t enough. Poor S. After the speculum, shots in her cervix, dilation stuff, and instruments shoved in there culminating in a loud vacuum sucking out the contents of her uterus, I though she was going to pass out. It was truly awful.


And I am encouraging S to take Vicodin all day, because it seems to be calming her down and making her food taste good. The redemption is that we are starting over. This miscarriage chapter is over. Right? And we move on to more motherfucking waiting.


19 Responses to “it’s over”

  1. Bri Says:

    Oh, I am just so sorry.

    So were you in there with her? That’s impressive.

    I forgot about the cervix shots. I think I did have those, now that you mention it. Eck.

    I don’t know why they don’t give a LOT more drugs for this stuff. Laughing gas would be helpful, for example. You can get it for pulling a damn tooth but not for sucking out a uterus? Fucked.

    It is really awful. I am really sorry.

  2. Lo Says:

    Oh, I am so sorry. But glad it is over. But not glad for the motherfucking waiting.

    Are you having testing done? I ask because it seemed to bring some good closure for Bri…

  3. jbeeky Says:

    I am so sorry. I am glad it is over. I hope you can mover forward eventually, but take all the time you need.

  4. Oh, I am so, so sorry. I am wishing you love, light, and healing on your own timeline. We’re keeping you in our thoughts.

  5. j Says:

    I’m also glad this part of awfulness is over. I think you should keep S hopped up on whatever is pain numbing and keeping her comfortable. Take care of her, and yourself, if possible. xo

  6. TTC4years Says:

    My 2 cents– I have taken vicodin for period cramps, and I never found it to be satisfying at all. Aleve helps me– prostaglandins…2 for every CD1, and I can almost function like a human.

    I wish there was a pill I could give you both to give you at least a day without your sorrow. We feel it too.

  7. carey Says:

    I used to do counseling at an abortion clinic… we would tell women to take motrin/ibuprofen to help with the cramping & also to massage their uterus (make a fist and put on top of your lower abdomen (fingers facing inward) and make circles, like kneading almost). Sounds weird, but it does help… a heating pad helps too.

    I’m very sorry they didn’t knock her out for this… our RE was very kind to knock me out (twilight sleep) for my D&C. I was lucky to not have to experience it. I don’t know why doctors don’t knock everyone out… I’m so sorry she had to be awake for such a horrible procedure 😦

    I did have about 3 days of cramping afterwards & spotting for almost a week… exactly 6 weeks post D&C, I got my period.

  8. nycphoenix Says:

    you’re in our hearts and prayers

  9. whathef*ck Says:

    fyi you have s’s real name in your post.

    didnt hear about the bday party. fucking brutal. WORSE than a baby shower, what with all the toddlers and baby sibs or babies on the way. you guys could have used a xanax for that too i’m sure.

    i’m glad its all over at least. unconscious would’ve been better but at the cost of waiting longer? tough fucking call. words fail me really. you know i’m with you and thinking of you both and being pissed and bitter and really mad about the waiting. more fucking waiting, for chrissake.

  10. I am so sorry. And I am so sorry that I forgot to say earlier that you should bring a iPod/Walkman to the appointment.

    I hope she feels better soon.

  11. charlotte Says:

    thanks aspiring baker – she did bring an ipod, at our dr.’s suggestion, and it was tremendously helpful for her.
    wtf- thanks! i changed the name and yes xanax for the party would have been a good plan.

  12. jay Says:

    I’m really sorry too.

  13. Found a video for you:

    Miscarriage Tribute- Slipped Away (by Avril Lavigne)

    It made me cry, but that can be good. Wishing you healing tears.


  14. K77 Says:

    I’m so sorry. Worse that S wasn’t knocked out for the D& C!

  15. Co Says:

    I’m sorry S. endured so much physical pain on top of such an already painful experience.

    And that bday party sounds like hell.

    Thinking of you.

  16. Megan Says:

    I’m with you Carey, Kim was knocked out for her D&C, i cannot for the life of me understand why they did not put her or alot of other of you girls through that sort of pain, not only physically but emotionally.

  17. Calliope Says:

    thinking of you. wishing I cold make it better.
    Wishing I could e-mail you some stuff from GM’s medicine chest.

  18. Melody Says:

    I’m so sorry. It sounds awful. Wishing healing for you both.

  19. I am so sorry that it was such a horrible experience and that she was so awake for it. Why do certain doctors just not “get it”? As if the emotional pain of this all wasn’t bad enough, having to endure the physical pain as well – again, I’m so sorry and I hope that S is doing ok.

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