dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

dead baby May 19, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 1:41 am

dead.dead.dead.

no heartbeat.

no growth.

now we must deal with things like manual vacuum aspiration versus scraping it out versus spontaneously bleeding. good lord.

at least, mercifully, it is over.

we got the week-to-live-brain-tumor death (where there is forewarning but lots of torture) instead of the instant-car-crash death (where it is instantaneous but shocking). which one is more dreadful? i think it is a toss up.

if it does not happen by monday morning, our trusty dr. poor social skills will “deal with it,” probably via manual vacuum. S is feeling relieved, NOT pregnant, and ready to move on. i am devastated.

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55 Responses to “dead baby”

  1. Jean Says:

    So sorry to hear the bad news. I was so hoping that you would have better news to report today, but at least you know have answers and can move on from here. {{{HUGS}}}

  2. Lo Says:

    Oh, Co and I are so sorry. So so sorry.
    We are here.
    Much love to you, S., and LM.

  3. Estelle Says:

    I’m so so sorry.

  4. dln Says:

    I am so so sorry 😦 Holding you, s and lm in my heart.

  5. oneofhismoms Says:

    Words fail me. So. Just take these feelings I’m flinging out there.

  6. I am so, so sorry to hear this.

    I say go for the manual vacuum aspiration. It’s not a party, but it’s over quickly (I got two Vicodin and a Valium beforehand). I have miscarried naturally and I’ve had a D&C, and I’ll take the D&C. PARTICULARLY because of the possibility of chromosomal analysis of the embryo. If she sits around waiting to miscarry, she’ll never know when it’s going to happen, and you don’t want it to happen anywhere but your bathroom.

    My deepest condolences.

  7. justkeepswimming Says:

    So, so sorry. You both are in our thoughts.

  8. ohchicken Says:

    have checked in throughout the day. thought of you both all day, and hoped.
    i am so sorry.
    there is nothing i can say as a stranger that will sound anything but trite.

    but i will continue to hold you both up with thoughts of comfort.

  9. Bri Says:

    I am holding you guys in the light tonight. I am just so, so sorry. Please let me know if there is anything I can do or say or discuss or just moan along with. I am so sorry, hon.

  10. jbeeky Says:

    I came over from Littlestpea and just want to tell you how sorry, how fucking sorry I am. I hope you find comfort in each other during this hard time.

  11. gypsygrrl Says:

    sending you much love and sharing in the heartache…
    i’m so sorry.
    ((((((((((love))))))))))

  12. P. Says:

    I’m so sorry. 😦
    I kept refreshing all day… hoping.

  13. j Says:

    I love you, and hate that this has happened. It’s terribly fucked up and I’m so so sorry. You know where I am should you happen to need me.

  14. nycphoenix Says:

    I’m crying here. Hoping for a miracle now I’m just praying for healing for you both.

  15. I am so sorry. You’re both in my thoughts.

  16. I’d go for the d&c too. With my last mc (natural) I waited nearly 3 weeks. There have been times I preferred no intervention and to wait it out, but there is a benefit to swift resolution and start of a new cycle.

    Can they karyotype the embryo? I have had fantastic closure when that was done (abnormal)

    Evidence that it wasn’t me not resting, getting stressed, wearing the wrong colour socks, blah blah.

    I’m so sad for you. I hope you can support each other.

    xxx

  17. carey Says:

    Oh man… I’m so sorry for you both to have to go through this. 😦

    I would def. go with the D&C over a natural m/c if you can. We’ve done it both ways in our house and the D&C was the easiest, both physically and emotionally. If you have any specific questions about either, please feel free to ask. Again, we’re so sorry…

  18. Mo Says:

    I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to both of you.

  19. megan Says:

    I’m so sorry…

  20. We’re so very sorry

  21. e. Says:

    i am so very sorry. i’m hold the three of you in my thoughts.

  22. jenny Says:

    It sucks so, so bad. I am so so sorry that you are going through this.

  23. Cheek Says:

    I came over from unwellness and I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve also had both natural miscarriage and D&C and found that when the physical was taken care of quickly, the emotional work was easier to do.

    So, so sorry for you and S – wishing you peace during this difficult time.

  24. Adrienne Says:

    Coming over here from drowned girl…I’m so very sorry.

  25. DD Says:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you both. I’ve found that the “week-to-live” to be so much worse than the “car crash”. Ultimately the ending breaks our hearts, but the waiting crumbles the soul.

  26. Melody Says:

    I’m sorry, too. Thinking of you both.

  27. TTC4years Says:

    I am so sorry. We are all with you. Tears.

  28. Artblog Says:

    So sorry 😦

  29. erika Says:

    Made my way over via two moms are better than one…

    I am so, so sorry.

  30. Sonya Says:

    I am so sorry. I have been there and I understand the emptiness and sadness.

  31. G Says:

    Not much for a total stranger to say but that I’m so sorry for your loss. I first found you guys through calliope .. take care of you and your Love and i will continue to send good thoughts and wishing peace for you and your family.

    G.

  32. Sarah Says:

    I’m so very sorry.

  33. maeby Says:

    There just aren’t any words. Sending you both strength to get through this.

  34. […] know there are tons & tons of things going on in the blogosphere. Some incredibly happy, some devestatingly tragic. My heart goes out to all of […]

  35. lagiulia Says:

    I am so VERY, very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.

  36. bon Says:

    i am so sorry. so sorry.

  37. Sara Says:

    I am so sorry. So, so sorry.

  38. jay and vee Says:

    We’re both really so sorry :((((

  39. Angela Says:

    I am deeply saddened for your loss.. There is nothing that I can say to ease your pain. My prayers are with your family.

  40. dismantledarmadillo Says:

    Sending you prayers and hope for healing.

  41. shelli Says:

    oh fuck.

    I’m so sorry, honey.

    Just, aw, fuck.

  42. M. Says:

    Oh sweeties…sooo soo very sorry.

  43. Premalatha Says:

    I am so sorry. So sorry.

  44. Jennifer Says:

    I am so so sorry. You’re all in my thoughts.

  45. Jude Says:

    We are so fucking sorry over here.

  46. temmerling Says:

    Just got back into town and came over to check. I’m so sorry. I’ll email you.

  47. Clare Says:

    we are sending you all the good thoughts we can. so sorry to hear this news. take care of yourselves and each other

  48. Just checking in to see how you are

    x

  49. frog Says:

    Prayers for you and yours from the hatchery.

  50. Hope Says:

    So, so sorry.

  51. amanda Says:

    *sigh*–my heart just aches for you two. Please know we are thinking of you. i wish i had more words that could convey our sympathy right now. i am just so, so, incredibly sorry.

  52. Vikki Says:

    I am so sorry…

  53. artsweet Says:

    oh, crap on a hot tin roof. Why does shit like this happen to good people? My thoughts are with you both.

    I too vote for the D&C – it took Pili THREE MONTHS to be done with the “natural” miscarriage.

  54. H Says:

    I am so dreadfully sorry, and send you lots of love, my thoughts are with you both.


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