This is, by far, the longest 5 days of my life. The word that best captures the whole thing is EXCRUCIATING. Absolutely excruciating.
One thing that actually is helping me is knowing you people are here with me. Truly. My real life friends and family just make me more sad. I know how attached THEY are to this baby or malformed cell clump or whatever, and it just makes me feel worse. I can’t even explain this properly because I don’t have the energy. But thank you for being here. It is one of the few things these days that lessens my burden.
Our appointment is at 2:30 tomorrow, but I won’t be able to blog about it until later in the afternoon. Believe me I’ll tell you guys as soon as I can. A dead baby post. I still can’t believe this is happening.