dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

i didn’t need that May 2, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 3:59 am

Thank you very much, stupid pregnancy book, for telling me what the miscarriage rate is for S’s age group. It was like a car crash I could not look away from. And there it was. A really crappy statistic. For the first time since S got pregnant (I know! surprising for how pessimistic I usually am, right?) I felt absolutely terrified in my bones that something would happen. And by “something” I mean miscarriage, dead baby, whatever. Bad news. Pain. Devastation. Starting over.

.

I know it is ridiculous that I have not previously been terrified in my bones, especially after being witness, in person, to WTF’s many horrors. But I have not gone there. I am in a very nice denial bubble, and it almost popped today. Almost. My logical brain keeps telling me that if “something” happens it will not be made easier by trying to protect myself right??

So I’m goin’ for it: maternity clothes, telling people, telling LM, pregnant summer plans, baby name books, and the bold assumption that we will have a happy, peaceful, red, wrinkly, holiday baby (due date is December 27th). Lord help us. It better fucking happen.

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10 Responses to “i didn’t need that”

  1. The stats really improve after a hb is seen, and then again after about 8.5w.

    I don’t think you need to worry about a miscarriage now (and I’m an expert, sadly!)

    Enjoy!

    xx

  2. Co Says:

    With TTC, the odds were against you every cycle.

    One of the nice things about being pg is that’s not true any more. The odds are on your side. It’s more likely that S. will carry to term than that she will have a miscarriage.

    Once you see a heartbeat, the odds of a miscarriage drop dramatically.

    By week 13, they drop dramatically again.

    I think worry is inevitable. I’m glad you’ve been able to avoid it for a while. Hang in there.

  3. amanda Says:

    It WILL happen! i think it’s totally natural to have those moments of fear, but it can be used as motivation to take super-good care of yourselves in the meantime.
    🙂

  4. Vikki Says:

    The best advice I can give is to stop reading things. When we want something so badly, it is too hard to be rational about statistics.

  5. temmerling Says:

    No, you cannot protect yourself by being afraid of miscarriage all the time. It’s going to rip you apart IF it happens whether you were sure it was going to happen or whether you were completely surprised. So, go for it. Live loud. Because that baby is coming.

  6. Lynn Says:

    I totally hear you about the fear of everything right now! I am currently 6w6d and I am tired of having to add “assuming the pregnancy sticks” to the end of every optimistic and exciting statement… How many weeks will she be when you two go for the ultrasound? I go for the first time at 9w and the wait is killing me!

  7. holly Says:

    With Lois pregnant at 38 with one miscarriage under our belt, I was so scared that something was going to go wrong. I’m actually not sure that the fear ever went away – especially during the bed rest thing.
    Maybe it’s all preparation for when the kid arrives and you are now terrified that something will happen to your child outside of the womb!
    We are so thrilled for you girls!
    Here’s to embracing and enjoying the pregnancy, despite all those little things!

  8. e. Says:

    i like you’re approach! i for one will tell everyone right away (that is if i ever get pg), but god forbid i were to have a miscarriage, i would want the support of my family and friends, i don’t want to deal with it alone. in my opinion one of the reasons m/cs are so hard is that we (as a culture) don’t talk about them, don’t support each other. i had one, a long time ago, and few people knew. it sucked and i am sure if i’d been more open about it, it would not still hurt so fucking much.

  9. oneofhismoms Says:

    Drop the pregnancy book and back away. I repeat: back away from the pregnancy book.

  10. Shannon Says:

    Seriously, don’t read that book. It drove me crazy when my partner was pregnant!


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