Do any straight married people read this blog?? I know of like 3. Anyhoo we have what we have named The Lying Appointment, coming up on Friday, and we need to know what they will ask us so we can prepare. For those of you straight folks who went to an RE, or an OB, did you bring your husband/partner/boyfriend? What did they ask of him? Did he need to be present for all your appointments? I know that this doctor, being not affiliated with a sperm bank or a fertility clinic will not be asking for bloodwork and such.
S will be going alone, and here’s the story: S and Rocket Man have been together 3 years. He works in another city far from home, and that is why we need a doctor in that city to do the IUI. He has a place close to his work where he stays 3 nights a week. This is the lie that will explain why he has a totally different address. Otherwise we have to explicitly say they don’t live together which seems odd to me. She is going to know his full name, birthday, and phone number and other address. If asked, S is going to explain that he has 3 children from a previous relationship, all conceived on the 1st try so we know that there are no sperm issues.
We are hoping that they don’t need to have a meeting with RM, that he can just show up, independent from S and make the “donation” and then leave because he has to get back to work. Were your husbands there for the IUIs? Is it weird that he will not be? We are caught in this funky lying place where we have lost the ability to know what sounds fishy. Oh and please know that I’m asking specifically the heteros (or those currently in a hetero relationship) what their deal was, but I am interested in everyone’s opinion of whether all of this is plausible, and welcome any comments about how to make the lie simple, easy and believable.
It is increasingly unpleasant as the time nears for S to lie. It is harder for her than for me! It is painfully hard, but she’s willing. heh. I’m so much more evil and way less principled than she. Bwa haha.
I realize as I’m writing this that I am afraid we will be judged for this, that some of you are thinking how can you possibly do it? Lie? Pretend you, Charlotte, do not exists? Pretend to be having sex?
All I can say is that we feel like it is our best option to get a fresh IUI, financially, and the easiest path for our donor, which is of the utmost importance to us. All of which ultimately, hopefully, by the grace of all that is good in the world, will lead us to our baby.