Just to be clear: I was not searching for places who will do directed donor IUIs. A few places will do that. But they requires tons of testing, not only once but for each and every IUI, within 7 days. That means asking RM to go to not one but two appointments every month, and if ovulation is off, or part of that time falls on a weekend and he’s away on business, that would be too much stress for him and for us. He has a very demanding job and we don’t want to ask that much of him. Also, an IUI would be in ADDITION to his regular “deposits”…which can be up to 3 or 4 in any given cycle.
We already feel like we are asking so much of him, including lying. So that is the deal. That is why it is so hard to find someone to perform the IUIs. We need someone who is:
1. A good Doctor, specializing in IUIs and such
2. Someone who can wash sperm
3. Someone who will not require a strict test protocol
4. Someone who does not need to physically do all the testing (some RE’s won’t accept your labs ordered by another Dr.!)
5. Someone who is accepting new patients
6. Someone who will do IUIs and such on weekends.
I called many places that seemed like GYN offices, only to find out that they are in fact FDA regulated infertility clinics. But finally, my friends, I reached a regular old obgyn DOCTOR, who specializes in infertility, who doesn’t
seem to have a crazy test protocol!!!!!!!! She practices with 8 other doctors, so someone should be on call. The poor receptionist got grilled (by me). Apparently all RM needs to do is fax them a copy of a recent negative HIV test. S needs to bring in all her lab documentation. We (hah! I mean S) has an appointment next week on Friday the 13th. I am aware that at the actual appointment, while talking to the actual doctor we could be slapped with unexpected tests and roadblocks, but so far so good. I just need to practice our cover story with S and RM…because they will ask us stuff like has he fathered kids before, and does S have other children. Messy, huh? I am aware, now, that we need to lie because even nice Dr.s are bound by ethical guidelines, and unless they really know us, I would not expect them to bend those rules, because we could sue them and they would loose their license. It is ridiculous, but it is what it is.
Oh! S’s ovaries feel not so crampy and pressury as of the early afternoon today. So ovulation happened and we will not do a drive-by tonight. Phew.