dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

we are all set March 24, 2007

Filed under: ttc — charlotte @ 7:02 am

Thank you so much to those of you who offered to hook us up with drugs from Mexico. It warms my heart, it really does. And by the way I got comments and emails from people in SF and other places in California…um why haven’t I heard from you before? Ahem. Please comment people.

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I had a yucky 5 part conversation with Stupid Ass Fertility Clinic yesterday that involved me crying on the phone (twice) and me hanging up on the idiotic medical assistant (once).

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I called them 3 weeks ago to see what we needed to do to get Clomid next cycle. I was told REPEATEDLY, that I need do nothing, and schedule nothing until CD1. REPEATEDLY. I asked for clarification a few times because I didn’t want to run into any ridiculous roadblocks. Sha.

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After talking to idiotic medical assistant, a nurse, and the scheduling chicks like 3 times each, I finally set up 3 appointments. Jesus H people! It seemed like a ridiculous number of appointments, but whatever, they were able to schedule them in a cluster, so I was ultimately ok. But this took all effing day to sort out. Then at 4:30 I get a call from Idiotic Medical Assistant saying that we didn’t get some required labs done, so we could not have the “Next Step” appointment, and without the “Next Step” appointment we could not have the “Cycle Review” appointment. Without the “Cycle Review” appointment we could not have the “Clomid Check” appointment. This took me 10 minutes to extract from her.
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So no Clomid. And they (Dr. Ethics) refused to recode the required labs (many of which were for things like blood type, AIDS and Hepatitis) under something diagnostic rather than “fertility testing” because it was *malpractice*. By the way this is total bullshit. I have heard from many of you whose doctors try to work with them, whose doctors do not do anything unethical they just code tests that could fall into more than one category under the category that the patients insurance will cover. If a test is only performed for fertility reasons, they code it under fertility. Seems simple right? Not to Dr. Ethics. We should have gone to a new RE eons ago, but it is such a big deal to switch. We thought we were going to the right place because they are the “experts”. At this point I was sitting on my kitchen floor weeping while my son was trying to hug me and asking “Mommy, are you having a hard time? Are you sad?”

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By the time I got off the phone I was not clear about whether the “Clomid Check” appointment was also canceled. At this point I was going to cancel it if they had not done so already, but I got connected to Nurse Nice and Informed who told me not to talk to medical assistants as their job requirements are a high school diploma and a 6 month course. No wonder I knew more than her about fertility. I thought she was a god damned “Physician’s Assistant” – how the fuck am I supposed to keep track of these titles? Long story short: Nurse Nice and Informed was lovely, and made me feel better and rewrote the lab codes.

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I don’t ever want to go back there. It feels like a crazy, rule bound factory. A fertility treatment factory, just churning people out. Sticking them with needles, and shoving wands up there vajayjays in a sadistically ordered manner.

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Wow. I need to get to bed and I have not even gotten to today. I will attempt brevity. I called our old OBGYN who performed our IUIs, Dr. Poor Social Skills, and her midwife and they promptly returned our call. I needed a really good doctor experience to restore my faith in western medicine, and we got it. Our midwife was all about hugs, and listening and being clear about what they can and cannot do. She fit us in at the last minute, stayed late for us, answered all our questions, and accommodated us in every possible way. She gave S an exam and wrote prescriptions for Clomid and Progesterone suppositories. The new doctor in their clinic is a lesbian who is very familiar with fertility issues.

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Wha???

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I wanted to shout “WE’RE IN, SIGN US THE FUCK UP”. We are never going back to that ridiculous fertility clinic. THEY WERE GOING TO REQUIRE ME (YES ME) TO GET A BLOODWORK PANEL BEFORE THEY WOULD PRESCRIBE CLOMID OR PERFORM AN IUI FOR S. Why, for fuck’s sake, do they want the ‘lesbian life partner’ to have motherfucking bloodwork done??????? What in god’s name does that have to do with S having an IUI? COME ON!?

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Between this and the clinic search for KD IUIs, the lying, the talks with WTF, and spending all day on the phone with my fucking infertility EXPERTS who were supposed to make this process *easier*, I felt totally demoralized and powerless.

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Pelvic exam with nice midwife: 40 dollars; Clomid prescription filled by a funny pharmacist who said ‘good luck ladies, this stuff really works for people’: 15 dollars; restored hope in our next cycle: priceless.

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17 Responses to “we are all set”

  1. bananie Says:

    hi charlotte. not quite delurking, as i’ve just found you two days ago. but i just wanted to let you know that i’ve followed your whole journey in these two days, and though i’m emotionally exhausted (!) i also feel waaaaaaaaaay more prepared for the potential reality of embarking on getting myself knocked up this year.

    you’ve got yourself a new reader, a new commiserator, and a new hoper.

    cheers. all good thoughts.

  2. manda Says:

    Wow. That does seem like a lot of bullsh*t to get a prescription! Our obgyn pushed Clomid on us after hearing our story and just doing a regular yearly exam on T. i guess they are all different.
    Dealing with scheduling and all of that crap is exhausting, frustrating, and infuriating all at once. i am so sorry that because of all the red tape you guys are getting put behind another month. i know exactly how that feels and my heart goes out to you.
    xox

  3. e. Says:

    YES! So happy your MW made everything better. They really are super special amazing people (generalization I know, but I have not met one I don’t like).

    I am SOOOO confused as to why YOU would need blood work done?!

  4. Calliope Says:

    they wanted YOU to get bloodwork for S to get clomid????? what horrible fuckwits! ahhhh!!

    SOOOOOOOO glad that you got hooked up with a widwife. SOOOOOO glad that they treated you like a human & not a vagina robot.

    This shit is hard enough without asswipes & stupid people telling you the wrong thing.

    ugh.

    just so damn relieved for you.

    RESTORED HOPE RULES!!!

  5. Bri Says:

    I doubt it will make you feel better, but Wes had to get bloodwork done. That makes as much sense. And that was at our non-fertility-factory RE. Admittedly, though, it may have had something to do with my infertility status. Or at least I just told myself that to make it seem reasonable. It wasn’t, though.

    I know plenty of people who have had lots of luck and fine experiences with fertility factories. OK. Well. I know that people end up feeling fine about them once they’re pregnant. But I know WAY more hideous horror stories about lockstep protocols and strict, orderly meetings. I developed a phobia of them before I ever started. I am very happy that your midwife/OB are being normal human beings. I really don’t know if there is anything worse than people associated with the medical profession being dickwads and idiots.

    I am thinking of you. Hoping Clomid is the key. Glad the pharmacist said something nice. Thanking you for the moral support lately over something as dumb as a vacation.

  6. Bri Says:

    I forgot to mention the fertility factory friend who had a piece of a medical instrument used for a saline sonogram LEFT IN HER CERVIX a month or so ago. It was in there for a couple of weeks. Lovely.

  7. Carey Says:

    We both had to get tested for things, just like every other married couple that goes through infertility treatments. Even though it was a pain and we questioned it at first, looking back it was nice to be treated the same as every other couple. It’s just the standard protocol at many clinics. (although they really should have told you all of this upfront!!)

    Our OB would not run labs for us that we needed for the fertility clinic. She did it once and got in trouble for it. The bigger the establishment, the more rules there are. More lawyers, more crap to cover their asses. I cannot even begin to list all the hoops we had to jump through for our IVFs. But, for the most part, they were the same hoops that everyone has to jump through.

    I’m SO happy that you were able to switch to the MW and this other practice — that sounds MUCH better for you guys all the way around and seems like it fits better with your philosophy πŸ™‚

  8. whathef*ck Says:

    did talking to me make it worse? that is horrifying.

  9. charlotte Says:

    WTF, No!!!!!!!!!! Talking to you was just part of the logistical juggling and made ME feel bad because I am putting you guys out. That was totally not clear from my post…sorry! NO I love you and you are fabulous and do not make me feel stressed in this process AT ALL. In fact, the opposite.

  10. Mermaidgrrrl Says:

    My partner had to have the tests for blood-borne diseases and STD’s too. I think they just do it for all partners, straight or queer! Sorry you had horrible shit to deal with 😦

  11. K77 Says:

    Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time yet again.

    DP has to have bloodwork done along with me for my IVF cycle, as with any couple here. The stupid stat dec thing is the same.

  12. jenny Says:

    E had to get bloodwork done before I could get fertility treatments. I balked and they explained that they treat all couples equally, that it is possible for women to give each other sti’s and they feel it is best. So yeah – I think that is really standard.

    I’m glad that your nice midwife was so great and I am really excited about the new fertility person at your Ob’s office!

  13. nycphoenix Says:

    omg what a roller coaster. so happy you found the light at the end of the tunnel.

  14. nycphoenix Says:

    sorry its sophia up above

  15. Co Says:

    It’s ridiculous that your clinic’s staff put you thru such a guessing game. My clinic, for all its roboticness, is at least super-organized. They handed me a checklist after my initial consultation that spelled out exactly when and what I needed to schedule before I would be treated.

    And there are plenty of ethical ways to code things so insurance will pay for them, that don’t involve lying.

    For the record, Lo was not required to do any testing in order for me to be treated. Just me.

    I am glad you found a reasonable and nice and competent practioner and got your Clomid scrip after all. I hope this is what will make the diff for you guys.

  16. j Says:

    it is amazing what one singular good experience during all the crap can do to boost all sorts of emotions – hope being the biggie.

    I’m glad you found a “fit” for you guys in terms of the medical world, I’m glad you “legally” got your Clomid, and I’m glad to hear just a little…sparkle in your voice.
    xo

  17. Yuri Says:

    Hello,

    I have been keeping up with your blog and I understand and wish you the bast with your journey. My partner and I are also trying to have a baby. I was wondering if you could provide some information regarding Chlomid and where do you get it , how much does it costs, etc? Any information would be gratly appreciated. Thanks
    Yuri


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