two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

another negative – well not yet techinically seeing as i’m writing this the night before tomorrow but you bet your ass it will be March 21, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 6:17 am

plus, i’m sick.

this isn’t fun. this is a giant disaster.

I had to ask WTF to ask Rocket Man if we can start the process of getting him tested for all manner of crap so that we can do a fresh sperm IUI not next cycle but the following one. They are more than sweet and willing, but I hate to ask. I hate it because if there is going to be burdensome crap to deal with i don’t want to subject anyone else to it. I hate being at the mercy of their generosity. I hate involving anyone else in what has become our own special pregnantless hell. Thank god they are such great people, otherwise it would be totally unbearable. Although, the nicer WTF was to me on the phone today the more I wanted to cry.

On top of THAT shit, in our lovely nation FDA regulations state that sperm banks and doctors cannot perform fresh sperm IUIs with known donors. They can, of course do a fresh sperm IUI if S is fucking a bum on the street, or pedoph*le, or a convicted murderer, but because she is not having sex (aka an “intimate partner”) with Rocket Man, we must perform all manner of tests, see a counselor AND FREEZE and quarantine the sperm.

FREEZE the FRESH sperm, people.

Is that the most heterosexist fucking shit you have ever heard?

There is one exception in our area. Thank fucking god. He is the owner of an alternative sperm bank and he (and his lawyers) believe that Rocket Man and S are, in fact, “intimate partners”. Behind the closed doors of a home, his sperm is put in her stuff. He believes that that constitutes an intimate partnership. How the sperm gets in there is really none of the federal government’s fucking business. They are not the sex police. Therefor, his bank will do the insemination.

Thank you dude. Seriously.


9 Responses to “another negative – well not yet techinically seeing as i’m writing this the night before tomorrow but you bet your ass it will be”

  1. Co Says:

    Yeah, it is ridiculous to make you freeze and quarantine a known donor’s sample for x number of months, whereas they wouldn’t make a husband or boyfriend have their sperm frozen. They’d just make them have an HIV test or whatever, which I think is fair.

    I’m glad you have a place that would allow you to do it on the down-low without that nonsense. But I realize that is cold comfort right now. Hugs to you and S.

  2. veeandjay Says:

    Ah shit on a stick – another negative. I’m sorry sorry sorry. Won’t tell you not to give up hope yet – you know how this works – you’ve been trying for long enough to know when it’s over, right?

    Kudos to the IUI doctor, though. I think we have a similarly ridiculous law here in the UK. Though we haven’t yet had to pursue this as an option, if we do, I hope we can find someone as sensible.

  3. Calliope Says:

    fuck. I’m so effing sorry. AND to be sick on top of it – well that is just a kick in the crotch.
    I have decided that WTF & RM are the coolest most amazing people that I do not know. Every time you write about them I just feel like this freaky love for them. I am sooo glad that they are in your life.
    Thank fucking gawd you found an IUI person that isn’t going to make you guys jump through hoops.
    I am thinking of you.

  4. Bleu Says:

    A LOT of midwives will do IUI with fresh sperm. I know of some in SF who do it and housecalls. Is this an option you might be able to look into as an alternative?

  5. cori Says:

    That SUCKS!! I am so glad you have great friends that are so very willing to help you. Sending you Baby making Vibes!!

  6. e. Says:

    it is ridiculous! thankfully you’ve got that loop hole. our MW’s office will do IUIs with a KD w/o freezing and quarantining, but i know it’s illegal. but they also don’t charge us for our iuis…they pretty much will work around any rules/laws if they think it is discriminatory. another reason i love my MW!

    i hope the iui works out!!!

  7. Ogh b*****er. I’m sorry.

  8. Jenny Says:

    Actually, there is another category called directed donor where they do not have to be quarantined. Our RE uses this category – the donor does have to be tested within 7 days of each donation which is a huge PITA but still you can do a fresh IUI if you get his tests done a few days before. Our RE does it by running the STD tests STAT 3-4 days before the anticipated IUI so that the results are back.

    It remains, however, heterosexist bullshit.

  9. temmerling Says:

    We’re running up against those same regulations… I joked to my RE about marrying our donor and he was serious when he told me that that would really help… Now I’m just wondering if we can lie about it. I mean, do they ask to see a marriage license? If I just walked in there and said I had married him would anyone question it?

    Maybe I should see if there’s a midwife that’ll do it. I don’t know.

    I’m so sorry about the negative. You know I’m right there with you in the pregnantless hell.

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