…that we had an unbelievably positive pregnancy test. The test had like five different measurements on it, each showed a second line if you were pregnant. Next to the “test” number one was a faint but absolutely there number one, next to the “test” squiggly line was a second, pink squiggly line and so on. I just couldn’t believe it. I did a cheapie internet test just to be sure. And there was the second line. I have never ever had a dream like this and could not help but assume that it was prophetic.
So I went to the cup of pee that S left on top of the toilet. I held my breath as the pee moved across the window. Only the test line appeared. Nothing.
Fuck pregnancy dreams.
Yes, it is only 11 DPO, but it feels like the slow let down. S is really crampy yesterday and today, and feeling more and more like her period is coming. Fuck. I think our timing was off this time, not impossible kind of off, but enough to give me pause. Inseminating at 10pm on the day of O is certainly not ideal.
I called some therapists this week to begin the process of meeting with UD and H. I doubt that will really lead us to an answer with them anytime soon, but it will be good for our family. I chose to contact a local therapist who is gayer than gay. I certainly don’t want to have to explain this situation to some schmo who will ask stupid questions the whole time and make lame assumptions.
I’m saving the crushing disappointment of not being pregnant until tomorrow morning. Bleck.