S and I talked. I expressed some of my anger and disappointment at yet another thing that I pinned hope on and expected getting yanked away at the last minute. She is going to start taking charge of her own fertility treatments, which is great. I’m still sad and feeling quite hopeless about our next try (in a week) but whatever dude.
I’m kinda used to the crushing of the small amounts of hope I muster. Ah, well, it is what it is. I have never (save childhood) felt so out of control, powerless and hopeless as I have in this process.