S was feeling iffy and crappy and teary until I picked her up at 1pm. Then she cried during lunch. We drove to the appointment and I went in to ask if a nurse could come talk to her about the procedure. A nice tech walked us through the whole thing, and then S was still crying and just.couldn’t.do.it. I don’t think I fully understand why she can’t, so I won’t bother trying to explain it to you. She just can’t.
We have no other options, really. No clomid until after an HSG at our RE. S wants to try some holistic crap. She certainly will be in charge of that. Honestly I feel like giving up entirely. I have little hope that she will get pregnant without intervention. I don’t think WTF and Rocket Man really want to donate to me…somehow it is just too complicated that way (WTF and I are really good friends, and somehow it seemed ok for her partner to donate to my partner, but her partner to me is a different story entirely). We can continue with S and Rocket Man and hope that it works naturally.
I don’t know that I can adequately express how I’m feeling right now. It is sort of a wanting to weep and smash my car with a baseball bat combo.