two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

it is an indefinite ‘we don’t know’ which is ‘no’ to us January 22, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 12:40 am

UD recommends we not call H, so I suppose she really does not want to talk to us about this at all. They are feeling really “pressured” and are not at a point where they can “have an in depth conversation” with us. They really need to focus on “our own issues right now”…which by the way are not cancer or divorce or anything like that.

So that is fucking that. We move on to S next cycle.

I just have absolutely nothing else to say.


9 Responses to “it is an indefinite ‘we don’t know’ which is ‘no’ to us”

  1. whatthef*ck Says:


    by the way, thank s for me that i say “holy” all the time now and so does my 2-year-old daughter.

    so we’re back on? would this be a bad time to tell you that we are having second thoughts? just kidding. that wasn’t funny, was it?

    that is so fucked up it doesn’t seem possible. call me if you want.

  2. Says:

    Oh for fuck’s sake. I am so sorry, hon. I don’t even know what to say. How can there not even be explanation or conversation? I just don’t get it. I can’t imagine how frustrated you must feel.

  3. vee Says:

    I think it’s lame, to say the least, that they can’t talk to you about this.
    I’m really sorry this has happened, when everything about it felt so right for you both.

  4. Calliope Says:


    that is so effing awful and horrible and gut kicking.

    It’s one thing to say “we don’t know” – but so damn pull your hair out that you don’t even get to TALK about it – plead your case or something.

    damn. I am so so so sorry.

  5. sariel & shlomit Says:

    i’m sorry you continue to go through all of this…if i were in your shoes i’d almost find a definite ‘no’ easier…thinking good thoughts for you and S and her next cycle..

  6. Co Says:

    I am so sorry. That just sucks.

    I have sometimes wondered if, in some situations, the partners of PKDs aren’t lying… to themselves or to everyone else. At least when these things are brought up in the abstract, like when H. said 6 months ago it’d be fine with her.

    With out PKD situation, conversations about our PKD wanting to donate happened right in front of his wife. She said nothing. Until after he met us and we got along famously and he wanted to do it. Only then did she say she was 100% against it. Now, it could have taken her that long to know her true feelings, sure. But it could also be that she knew all along she was totally against it, but didn’t want to be the “bad guy”–not that it makes her a bad guy at all, but just that she didn’t want to be the one to neg it. She was hoping that we would meet and PKD would decide, “Oh, I don’t like them” or whatever and she wouldn’t have to reveal her true feelings. But when that didn’t happen, she had to.

    I wonder if H. had been hoping this moment wouldn’t come. That S. would get pg and it would be a non-issue.

    Obviously, no way to know anything since they won’t talk to you, which sucks. I feel like they could at least talk to you and tell you how sorry they feel, but the answer is “no.” They could include the caveat that the answer might change at some undetermined point in the future, but they could sit down with you and say that much. You’re right that an indefinite “we don’t know” is a “no”, at least for now.

    I hope that you guys can resolve this one way or another. I wish they would talk to you. I know they are important people to you and S. and LM.

    Many hugs from the Family O. I hope this next try with S. is the one.

  7. J Says:

    This is kinda fucked, more than that actually. The fact that they won’t talk to you, like adults, is completley…fucked.

  8. lagiulia Says:

    I’m really sorry to hear this news. Hugs to you and your wife.

  9. art-sweet Says:

    ugh. argh. ick.

    UD & H, I bite my thumb at you.

    Charlotte & S. I hug at you.

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