two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I feel no better today. January 12, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 5:58 pm

Many of you might have the same questions as Bri, so I’m posting a response to her email here:

What does this mean?
I don’t know. S trying again sounds totally awful to both of us now, but WTF assured us that they are still willing. After PPKD and The Wife I would say that I am never waiting for another wife to work through her issues, because that can only ultimately end in a no. But in this situation they already donated to us….so I don’t get it. I have no idea what we are going to do.

We are not doing anything with any eggs this month, so I guess we’ll reassess in a few weeks, and check in with UD and H then.

I feel so confused on your behalf, like the earth was pulled out from under your feet in a most shocking way.
Me too.

I can’t believe it.
Me either.

I am so fucking sorry, hon. How can there be no more information than this right now?
I know, right?

How can there not be more conversation?
Yeah, you would think she would owe us that at least, to talk to us on the phone or in person. To give us a vague sense of why.

Is there more that you just didn’t blog?
Unfortunately, no.

Is there any inkling of understanding what’s going on with them right now? Is it something between the two of them that’s interfering?
No inkling. My guess is that it is about their own baby issues? But maybe something bigger. An illness? I have no fucking idea because they didn’t tell us.

Had he agreed in the past to the possibility of more than one kid?
Yes. In the past, and two weeks ago on xmas eve we asked him and he said ‘totally!’.

Had she?
Yes. Within the last year, but we did not ask her recently.

Do you have any sense what changed, whether it really is about this or about something else?


And yes, I could use Rocket Man, but that feels so not right. If anyone is getting pregant with his goods, it is S.

Thank you all for your support. It really and truly is the only thing that makes me feel one gram better right now, that you all get how horrific this is. I’m not quite sure anyone does though. I know many of you are happy to use frozen swimmers, and others would be more than thrilled with a situation like Rocket Man. But being told no, in what we previously believed to be such a perfect KD situation which produced a child that is of both S and I, well, it is just one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. Even if we never exercised the option, having the possibility of a full sibling and both being related to another kid, RIGHT AFTER WE DECIDED IT WAS THE VERY MOST IMPORTANT THING TO OUR FAMILY, taken away is nothing short of totally devastating.

I’m just waiting for my mom to get here at 1pm so she can watch LM while I get into bed and cry for a few hours.


7 Responses to “I feel no better today.”

  1. Co Says:

    I am so sorry. Thanks for posting the answers to Bri’s questions. I was definitely wondering some of those things.

    People suck.

    Thinking of you guys today.

  2. Calliope Says:

    damn. no answers is the WORST. COuld all 4 of you get on the phone with each other or something?

    & at the end of the day UD does have 100% control of his own sperm. he certainly can just proclaim that he is making good on his promise to you two & bypass the H.

    this just sucks ass & I am sorry.

  3. charlotte Says:

    unfortunately cali, he won’t do that. it is his wife, and i respect that. and we will try to talk to them in a few weeks…but for now, i think she doesn’t want to talk to us, or about this at all. and we don’t know why.

  4. Mama2BandT Says:

    Do UD and Hasbian have children together…I’m thinking not but I don’t remember…?

  5. e. Says:

    I’m so sorry. I was behind on you blog and had no idea when I emailed you earlier today.

    I wish I could help.

    I am sending you and S my love.

  6. Lo Says:

    Oh, this sucks so hard. I am so sorry. I wish I had more to say…why are people so f-ed up???

  7. sariel & shlomit Says:

    (sorry for the barrage of comments…just catching up!)
    i’m really sorry to hear about the rug being ripped out…this whole thing is just tortuous isn’t it? although we’re in a different kind of hell, i can relate to the angst of it all…and not knowing the motivation behind something always makes me crazy too…
    i wish for peace for you…

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