Many of you might have the same questions as Bri, so I’m posting a response to her email here:
What does this mean?
I don’t know. S trying again sounds totally awful to both of us now, but WTF assured us that they are still willing. After PPKD and The Wife I would say that I am never waiting for another wife to work through her issues, because that can only ultimately end in a no. But in this situation they already donated to us….so I don’t get it. I have no idea what we are going to do.
We are not doing anything with any eggs this month, so I guess we’ll reassess in a few weeks, and check in with UD and H then.
I feel so confused on your behalf, like the earth was pulled out from under your feet in a most shocking way.
I can’t believe it.
I am so fucking sorry, hon. How can there be no more information than this right now?
I know, right?
How can there not be more conversation?
Yeah, you would think she would owe us that at least, to talk to us on the phone or in person. To give us a vague sense of why.
Is there more that you just didn’t blog?
Is there any inkling of understanding what’s going on with them right now? Is it something between the two of them that’s interfering?
No inkling. My guess is that it is about their own baby issues? But maybe something bigger. An illness? I have no fucking idea because they didn’t tell us.
Had he agreed in the past to the possibility of more than one kid?
Yes. In the past, and two weeks ago on xmas eve we asked him and he said ‘totally!’.
Yes. Within the last year, but we did not ask her recently.
Do you have any sense what changed, whether it really is about this or about something else?
And yes, I could use Rocket Man, but that feels so not right. If anyone is getting pregant with his goods, it is S.
Thank you all for your support. It really and truly is the only thing that makes me feel one gram better right now, that you all get how horrific this is. I’m not quite sure anyone does though. I know many of you are happy to use frozen swimmers, and others would be more than thrilled with a situation like Rocket Man. But being told no, in what we previously believed to be such a perfect KD situation which produced a child that is of both S and I, well, it is just one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. Even if we never exercised the option, having the possibility of a full sibling and both being related to another kid, RIGHT AFTER WE DECIDED IT WAS THE VERY MOST IMPORTANT THING TO OUR FAMILY, taken away is nothing short of totally devastating.
I’m just waiting for my mom to get here at 1pm so she can watch LM while I get into bed and cry for a few hours.