two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

On another note January 4, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 12:13 am

Before I post more, I want to tell you that I appreciate your comments on my previous post, and please still comment on that one too. We need more input on the technical side.

We also need some input on the emotional side. Have any inspiration personal tales of how you love your bio and non bio kids? About sacrifice for your family?

I think if S decides not to be pregnant, she will be making a huge sacrifice for our family. She will be putting her own desires to the side in favor of our baby timeline, our stress, money, having kids who are full siblings. Because if we had a lot of time and resources, we would just keep going with no interventions. S could certainly ask me for that anyway. She may still.

And I would have my own sacrifice, albeit a lesser one. I would put my body through another pregnancy, which I am very afraid of. I know this might be irritating to those of you who want it so badly, but I don’t want to do it again. Really. Once was enough. Enough stretch marks, pain, waddling, swelling and overall crying and insanity, pulled groin muscle, 3rd degree vaginal tear. Enough breast feeding. Enough.

But her sacrifice would be so much greater than mine. We are feeling incredibly sad as we lean in the direction of using my uterus instead.

So please help us wade through this issue. We could use some inspiration, some tales of your own struggles with who will carry your child, with your giant life decisions that there are no right answers for. Of faith. Of what family is. Of sacrifice.


P.S. You don’t really need to be inspirational at all. I just want to know that other people are struggling with all this too.


3 Responses to “On another note”

  1. Melody Says:

    This is a doozy, and I don’t have my thoughts together on it, but I wanted to offer this as a way that S could still participate actively and physically if you two decide that it’s best for you to carry:

    It’s possible to induce lactation in a non-biological mom. Perhaps she could help you shoulder the breastfeeding responsibilities. This is something I’ve discussed with Vanessa.

  2. Mama2BandT Says:

    My heart goes out to you…that’s a hard one to wrap yourself around…my experience I’ve only had bio children but my partner has 2 son 19 and 23 they were already teen/young adults when we got together so it wasn’t like I raised them and I do feel differently about them….but this is a WHOLE different situation than yours.
    Based on observation I don’t think my wife sees the 4 boys any differently based on biology

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