two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I’m so done January 2, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 11:34 pm

Period is here.

We still don’t know what we are going to do. I think we will move forward with the dye test. But this moment…sitting in front of the computer staring at another blank chart, as we begin cycle #20, I just don’t know how much more I can take. Charted cycle #20. Actual try #6.

I called all the clinics in the area and they are all very serious about known donors needing tons of testing. To the tune of $1200 at one clinic, and at the other one they require both the donor and the recipient couple to see their in house counselor. Are they fucking joking? If I am having sex, literally with a fucking bum on the street, there is no testing required, but if it is a wonderfully great friend of ours who S is not shagging, we must pay out the ass, have him poked and prodded and all os us must separately see a therapist? I am a fucking therapist. Seriuosly. The notion that we need to prove that we have THOUGHT THIS THROUGH makes me want to SCREAM.

S and I have talked this to death, and still don’t know what to do. I think the IUI situation is too complicated to do this next cycle. Or ever. I don’t want to put him through that, and S can’t lie.

Fertility Fri@nd has this to say to us:

“The first day of menstrual flow marks Day 1 of your cycle. The menstrual flow, though it looks like only blood (since it is stained by the blood) is comprised of vaginal and cervical secretions, blood and endometrial tissue.”

Thank you so much for that. What would possess them to think I would care to read that today. Thanks for the fucking ‘tidbit’.

I’m feeling lost and depleted. Tonight, we are going to light candles and sit together and see if something other thank talking can help us make a decision.


7 Responses to “I’m so done”

  1. Sacha Says:

    A big hug from grey and wet Seattle is heading your way. It SUCKS.

    I’m a problem solver, so here goes.

    1. Can you find someone outside the clinic who can to the IUI for you? Check midwives. Check family practice docs who deliver babies. You could consider doing it at home.

    I can call the clinics in our area that work with KDs and maybe they know of some obscure clinic in your area. Remember, YOU told us to call Aurora here and they were our best bet before out doc agreed to do it.

    2. If you can do this, the only issue is washing the sperm.

    Hell, Whatthef*ck could go in with Rocketman and provide cover so S. NEVER has to lie at all. She’s awesome that way. They could just hand the sperm over to you after picking it up (see, I swear, a village can make a baby).

    3. Everyone come vacation in Seattle! You can do it here 🙂 I’ll cook you dinner if you come before mid-march.

    I don’t know about the appendectomy and the HSG test. We have an appointment with an OBGYN on Monday and I will remember to ASK her. I don’t know if having your appendix out would affect both tubes or just the right.

  2. bleu Says:

    I just wanted to second the midwives thing. Here is Cali there are a few midwive practices that do IUI at very reasonable rates.

  3. vee Says:

    I’m so sorry that it hasn’t worked yet again, and sorrier still that the options open to you both for upping the ante are intrusive, expensive and unfair.

    I hope that you find a solution, and soon.

  4. Co Says:

    The counseling requirement is strange. You’re not *marrying* Rocket Man!

    I don’t know the law in CA, but it could be a state law that requires all the medical tests. Is it law or is it the clinics’ decision?

    (Like S., I can’t lie either.)

    You could do the HSG and then continue doing fresh insems if the HSG results show no blockages. Would you and S. be interested in doing that? Or are you looking to move up or be done?

    I am so sorry you are both going through this.

  5. frog Says:

    FF sucks.

    You’re in my heart.

  6. Melody Says:

    Not all clinics require the counseling, but I spoke with several in our area (Indianapolis) who did before I found our RE. I think that’s a bunch of bullshit, too. Ditto on the testing. I just went through hundreds of $$ of blood testing, chlamydia and gonorrhea testing (fortunately, insurance covered it) to get an IUI done in an RE’s office when my regular doc has been doing IUIs all along w/out question. Any 15 year old can insert sperm into a vagina no questions asked, but when you’re 30+ and financially solvent, they want to make sure you’ve really thought this through. WTF.

  7. Says:

    We had to have counseling for Wes and I even though we had been to both my therapist and a couple’s therapist on the issue of donor sperm. It was pretty painless but I truly can’t imagine making RocketMan go through that.

    What if you do Clomid and trigger and then your usual insems? Lots of straight people on the boards do it that way with success, I think.

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