S’s period is finally here, so we can move the eff on. I scheduled the HSG for next Tuesday, the 6th. I have some hope riding on this cycle, but in the back of my mind there is this nagging sense that this isn’t really the way I want to have our next kid.
I’m desperately trying to accept that this process just doesn’t care about what I want or my timeline.
On a positive note, we have not been diagnosed infertile, and we still could use me, with a frozen donor or a known donor, although that option (me going again and not having a bio sib for LM) makes me feel ill.
I am trying to buck up and move forward. Depression issues are making that difficult. I tend towards depression anyway, and the mess that is trying-to-make-our-next-baby just makes the depression worse. Finally I am taking care of some neglected stuff: paying bills, doing chores, getting out of the house with my son, going to work and just trying to survive.
I have not been posting much because just “surviving” doesn’t make good blogging. I’m lucky I am making it out of bed.