two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Things are OK December 7, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 4:32 pm

S and I have decided to make an appointment with a fertility clinic. I need to find out from her insurance if it is covered. If so we will go next week for a consultation. S is starting weekly acupuncture. I am starting to mark down my periods and fertility signs (no temping). We are starting the process of using me as a back up, but without taking energy away from S trying to get pregnant. We talked about the deep parts of this the other night and emerged in a better place.

I had been projecting myself onto her. I had been assuming that if we tried everything she was willing to try and it still didn’t work, she would be mortally devastated (because that is how I would feel). Apparently, not true. She would grieve and have a process around it, but would ultimately be perfectly fine with having another baby the way we had LM. And they would be biological siblings. This takes the pressure off. We are now able to feel the benefit (not just a weird competition and extra conflict and crap) of a 2 uterus home. Did you know that they way we are doing it now our kids will biologically be cousins? I didn’t know lesbians could be such hillbillies.

There was much more to the conversation, and I am too tired to write it all down. But it was good. GOOD. Like, teamwork, happy marriage good.

Ug. I am worried about WTF. I was with her the last time her cerclage was removed, and it was sooooooo f*cked. I remember when she got the first one put in. I am feeling my own trauma from this emerge as we approach this time of year.


7 Responses to “Things are OK”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    this is great. I know that your ideal wouldn’t have been to incorporate a fertility clinic, but it could really help. (I fucking hope!)
    sending you much love.

  2. ~ danielle Says:

    Sounds like you are both in a good place – well, considering. I have/had trouble projecting my ‘stuff’ onto my partner, especially when she got pregnant with #2. Our kids are bio 1st cousins and 3rd cousins (Bub’s donor is H’s bro, Ms. Baby’s donor is my first cousin), so yup yup, hicks for sure.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I can read the relief in your post. I hope things go well at the ferility clinic.

    It’s a hard thing to decide who’s going to carry, and so on. I’ve posted about getting A. to start charting so I can step out if needed and she can step in with out any gap. I would be really sad if it had to happen that way, but I have come to terms (well, as much as I can) with it being a valid option if I can’t get pregnant. No doubt, it would be really hard for me, but in the end, I just want to be a mom, and I don’t need to birth my child.

    I hope S. gets preganant soon, but so great to hear you are both at peace with plan B.

  4. Sophia Says:

    Don’t know what you’re going through about the who’s giving birth and what not but i hope things go well at the clinic

  5. jenny Says:

    Wow. That is such a big deal. We have processed this as well, and it makes such a difference to be open about these feelings and possibilities. I send you positive insurance vibes and hope you find a good doc.


  6. Co Says:

    Glad that thinks are OK.

  7. Lo Says:

    Good to have a plan. Best wishes as you work through it!

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