All the period-is-coming symptoms are starting. Yes, of course she could still, in the realm of slim possibility, be pregnant, but probably not.
S is having a latte today. This is almost PROOF that she is not pregnant. She is very serious about not having coffee while ttc (before you say coffee is OK – this is the edict from the acupuncturist, and it is about the coffee itself, not the caffeine, and is specifically for S’s system, not everyone’s).
Anyway, she’s serious about it and always hopeful until she gets “that feeling” which is the my-period-is-coming feeling with particular symptoms. This feeling is never wrong, and I truly believe, at this point, that when/if she gets pregnant it will feel different to her, or at least this feeling won’t come. I don’t think this is true for everyone, but S knows her body really well…and not in a obsess-over-every-ttc-symptom way, but in a martial arts, knowledgeable about anatomy, this is one of her gifts all the time (knowing her body), way. So we are going to get a latte.
This time I will wait before posting the official “not pregnant, again. fuck” post until we see blood. Until then I will just try to survive and distract myself. I guess. I’m kinda numb, but I think when she gets her period this time, I need to cry. I need to have a good long cry so it doesn’t build up, stew and leak out onto other people until I finally have a giant meltdown.
P.S. We did some retail therapy and S stayed home from work. We are having a great day considering.