I am just recovering from the news that PPKD and PTW are going to start “trying” “soon”. Then my good friend Curly (who was very good friends with me and Voldem*rt***) called and we talked about how Voldem*rt effects our friendship. She is still friends with both of us, and it is difficult for her to be in the middle. Now I just feel like crying. I wish there were a way for Voldem*rt and I to repair things just to the point where all of us could be in the same room with Curly. Maybe we could still all go to lunch to celebrate one of our birthdays. I just can’t handle Voldem*rt being central in my life. The problem is that she is still SO MUCH A PART of it even in absentia.
***when I say good friends I mean REALLY good friends. The three of us went away for weekends together. Talked about EVERYTHING and have really witnessed each other’s most amazing and worst moments.
Couple that with how I’m feeling about PPKD and PTW as our almost wonderful couple friends who have turned out to be such shitty couple friends and I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and never ever try to make another friend for the rest of my f*cking life.
Oh, and I just bought some pregnancy tests so we can maybe test tomorrow morning (day 10/11) and look at yet another blank pregnancy test…one of two or three this cycle which will each, in turn, be blank and then I will try to relinquish the hope and get depressed and shitty but not really let go until we see blood which will, of course be a day or two late, but at least we will finally we will find out that we are not f*cking pregnant, again, just in time to watch PTW and my good friend from work who ovulated the same day as S this cycle and is very FERTILE get pregnant before us.