two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I’m leaving on a jet plane November 2, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 7:54 pm

This weekend I am going on a trip. My horoscope says:

“You are about to enter a very busy, magical month. Travel will be a major theme, and it appears you will be on the go, jetting here, there – everywhere!”

Yes, WTF, it is 8 DPO but S has been too sick to temp, so we have no friggin idea what is going on.

I will be away on Monday, which is 12 DPO, which is when we will probably know something, but that’s only if S starts temping again this weekend. I can’t decide whether we should test or not. I would love to know it is + so I’m not wondering the whole trip back. Yet, I seriously doubt she is pregnant, so I think we shouldn’t test. I will just assume that her period will come on Tuesday.

I am leaving my son for the first time, and for 4 days. The only other time I spent the night away from him in 2 years was to help WTF deliver her dead baby this past January. I know! Crazy, stupid, enmeshed mom. I vowed not to be the kind of parent who doesn’t leave her kids ever, but here I am. So this trip is about independence and I am really looking forward to it. But I will miss my little peanut. I’ll probably sob on the plane as I’m jetting away.

I’ll sob as I sit alone, reading, knitting…oh wait, I forgot how fucking great that sounds. Traveling alone. No diaper bag. Holy crap. S and I traveled a lot before having a kid, but I have never, ever taken a trip alone (save flying alone all the time as a child).

The idea of a plane ride without sippy cups, crying and trying to change a shit filled diaper in a closed air space is sounding mighty luxurious indeed.

It would be nice to believe that S is pregnant. It would be nice to have a baby free weekend right before we find out we are having another one. Surprisingly the hope (the bastard) has not really slipped in much this try.


3 Responses to “I’m leaving on a jet plane”

  1. whatthef*ck Says:

    thanks for your comment about my email. that means a lot to me and it gives me courage to tell some other truths. good thing i have a whole list to keep me busy.

    it just occurred to me as i read your post that you weren’t supposed to be helping me deliver my dead baby. i mean, she was alive and well (maybe not well) when the epidural got straightened out. we thought she would be born alive and then she would die. but she was born dead, having died shortly before she came out. i’m not taking issue with your words or giving you a hard time. it just struck me in a new way that you were coming to help deliver a live baby who would surely die.

    i haven’t decided if i am relieved that i didn’t have to watch her die. i guess, i would have chosen, if i could have, to see her born alive. it was extra-awful that she had died already. i guess.

    enjoy your trip. prepare to cry right when you separate from him. a lot. but of course don’t feel bad if you don’t. fly safely and have fun! i love you.

  2. Jennifer Says:

    I’m a heartless bitch because whenever I travel without the children I’m practically dancing to the plane.

    I hope it’s not too hard on you.

  3. Kim Says:

    I hope your first childless airplane ride was a joy, and that there was no large, sweaty man sleeping and drooling on your shoulder. 😀

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