I have some things I need to say about the TTC community that have been brewing and stewing for some time, but I have been hesitant to write about it because I don’t want to offend people. I am referring to stuff on the message boards on our favorite TTC sites, you know which ones I’m talkin’ about. I suppose I am just going to saw ‘aw hell’ and proceed with my gripes list, even if you hate me for it.
1. The religious vibe. I do not like the HEAVY emphasis on G-d, and Chr-stianity (I’m blocking some letters on purpose so the folks searching for Chr-stian blogs don’t stumble upon this diatribe).
There is a very white, conservative, bible-belty feeling in the TTC community in general.
2. The signatures. My personal aesthetic does not jive with the sparkly, blinky, angel winged signatures, on the boards. And if you love this stuff, more power to you (seriously), but there are no graphic options for people like me, who don’t like want a sparkling pink box that says “prayin’ for a blessing”, or a blinking clover next to a leprechaun holding a basal thermometer.
3. The abbreviations. I HATE all of the abbreviations. Hate them. They seem juvenile and they feel conservative and 6th grade, and just plain crazy to me. They remind me of how people use creepy nicknames for body parts (although I am partial to some nicknames like vajayjay), like winky-do for penis, or tinkly-winkly time for going pee.
Just say penis. Just say pee.
Just say sex. Or abbreviate it SX, not BD for baby dancing. I mean how gross is that?? And I’m not just bitter because we can’t ‘BD’.
I want to barf all over the term ‘baby dancing’. It is not dancing. It is sex. SEX with genitals, and hopefully orgasms, and sweat, and lust. Maybe it is different from regular sex, but baby dancing it is not.
And the whole DH, DP, DD, DS. Why put “darling” before everything. I never ever use that word. Ever. And I don’t want to.
I don’t want to call my period Aunt Flo (AF). Why can’t the abbreviation be P or something?
Some abbr. are fine like BFN (Big Fat Negative). Or EWCM (Egg White Cervical Mucus). Fine. Makes sense. Isn’t grossly cute. Thank you for not calling it SBJ (Stretchy Baby Juice) or something nasty like that.
I am surprised that the abbr. for ovulation is O and not EMC for ‘Eggy McCuteness’.
3. TMI. There is a widespread trend, maybe it is even proper TTC etiquette, to preface normal discussions of body parts and bodily functions with “TMI” (Too Much Information), or” TMI?”, or “sorry TMI :)” when discussing the gory parts of the TTC process. I don’t think anyone should have to apologize for discussing normal bodily functions.
Please don’t apologize for talking about gas, or semen obscured cervical fluid. It is not TMI to discuss checking fluid internally. Or it’s consistency. I mean is it really TMI to discuss putting your fingers in your own vajayjay?
Also, hello…some people get diarrhea before ovulating. Don’t tell me how it smells please, but don’t apologize for writing the word.
I mean we are not discussing baseball statistics here, or book binding. We are talking about making babies and pregnancy and giving birth. It makes me angry and sad that we are so ashamed of our bodies.
Pregnancy and birth are gory, people.
Making, birthing and raising babies is not for the faint of heart.
There is discharge, there are hemorrhoids and errant hairs. There is blood and shit involved. And it is miraculous and beautiful. Powerful. I have never been so awed by my body. It is life and death. Sex and operating rooms. Birthing tubs. Catheters and syringes. Sperm, blood, urine, breast milk. Love. Terror.
Oh and please don’t hate me. Please. I couldn’t bear it because I also love the TTC community, and I don’t know how I would survive this without the message boards and you all for support an humor. I am so grateful for the Internet and all of you, seriously.
But please, lets not reduce all this to pleasantries, pink sparkles, and Jesus.