dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Some Crazy.Ass.Lesbians September 3, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 4:51 am

OK, I was gonna just skip this post, but I kinda made a decision when I started this blog to be honest.

Listen to the latest development in the sperm drama that is our life (and if you follow this blog you know there have been MANY layers of drama upon drama upon more sperm drama):

Now we are freaked out that it may have worked.

COME ON. We had great timing, so now we are freaked out that maybe it worked???

Yes.

I wish we hadn’t used this donor. S feels the same way. She is the one who brought it up.

WE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE.

I mean seriously, if I were reading this I would slam down my coffee and say “those ungrateful lesbians, they have a kid already, they love each other madly, and they timed their latest insemination perfectly with a great donor who they originally wanted to use more.than.anything.”

“What the f.u.c.k.,” you might ask.

We realized in the car today, during a half fight (you know when you are kinda blamey and petty, but before any yelling?), that we both thought the other person wanted to use Dimples the Donor (despite each of us saying we didn’t), and instead of either of us listening to the other person, or being very clear about what we wanted, we just did a crazy miscommunication and ended up using a donor this cycle that neither of us wanted to use.

Is there anything wrong with Dimples? Absolutely not. He is a fabulous, smart, artistic, funny person. The child would be lucky to meet this man someday. But he doesn’t look like me. Apparently, we have become VERY attached to the possiblity that the kid could look like me. Sounds petty. Feels petty to say.

I actually feel super freaked out about this, enough to make me wonder if I want S to be pregnant.

Really I am embarrassed even to write this, because it feels very, um…crazy.

How did this happen? How did we do such a freaky miscommunication? We both thought we were doing the other person a favor. We both thought we were protecting the other person. Have we gone mad?

I don’t know people. I almost think it is funny, but not yet.

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7 Responses to “Some Crazy.Ass.Lesbians”

  1. Wendy & Karen Says:

    You really got me thinking with this one. I posted something that speaks to your “How did this happen?” question.

    I guess the only other thing I’d add is another question for you: So, if it did happen and you guys are pregnant, what will you do with these feelings?

    Sending you lots of cyber hugs as you grapple with this.

  2. Lo Says:

    Oh, I can TOTALLY see how that could happen. I hope it doesn’t happen to us, but I can see it. So, here’s hoping everything works out, whatever that means…

  3. Round is Funnyhttp://www.roundisfunny1.wordpress.com Says:

    You don’t sound crazy at all. It sounds like completely normal panic setting in after taking a really big step. My crystal ball says it’s aggravating and anxiety-provoking but temporary. Hang in there!

  4. Co Says:

    Lo and I have been known to do similar things when it comes to the anxiety-provoking *big decisions in life*. For example, after we’d decided to move in together, we started apartment hunting. In our city, this often means paying a realtor… even as a renter. We actually paid a $300 nonrefundable deposit to a realtor to apply for a condo rental we’d seen. I thought Lo really wanted it. She thought I really wanted it. But after a couple days, we found ourselves fighting about it and discovered that neither of us wanted it. We blew $300 but we learned a lot about what it was we were both really looking for.

    So, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think this is tough.

  5. Sacha Says:

    If you get preggo this time, you’ll love that baby no matter what. Bottom line.

    If you don’t get preggo, change donors.

    It’s like when Pa sold his violin to buy Ma a present then Ma sold her prized something-or-other to buy Pa’s violin. Yes, Little House episodes can solve the world’s problems.

  6. Rheahttp://www.thegeminiweb.com/babyboomer/index.php Says:

    I love the whole “two moms” thing and didn’t realize there’s a bunch of blogs like that. Cool!

  7. Estelle Says:

    It happens.
    I still sometimes regret using the donor we did. Not because of his looks, but because of his health. I wonder what would have happened if I had found the siblings sooner and asked about their health? Could I have spared my kid and my family the agony of health problems?

    But, it didn’t happen that way. And we have a wonderful, perfect child. And I’m cool with it.


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