two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

The Inconvenient Truth about Eggs. August 31, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 10:38 pm

The IUI today from Dr. Poor Social Skills sucked ass.

Touchy Feely Midwife and Dr. Poor Social Skills were both there, a long with LM, becuase we couldn’t find a sitter at 9 frickin am. So we are all jammed in the room, and
Touchy Feely Midwife can’t get the catheter in, so Dr. Poor Social Skills, says “We need to use the teneculum, this might hurt a little.”

S is yelling owwwwwwww, owwwwww, and grimacing, and LM is like “mama hurt?” and I’m like back the fuck off my wife. Then, the catheter went right in, easy as pie.

But when she removed the speculum there was blood dripping off it, onto the crinkly bottom sheet, onto the floor.

So there is S covered in her homemade drape (this time it was orange not floral), looking sad, and I just wanted to say “what the fuck just happened???”

Instead we asked some questions and were assured that this procedure, unlike some things they do to cervixes, leaves no scar and no permanent damage.

Still an explanation would have been nice, a lead in, a are you ok with this, anything other than “this may hurt a little.” Doctors are idiots.

Then, while we are discussing what to do next (i.e. do we do another IUI tonight, or vag insem late tonight, or another IUI tomorrow morning?) I say “well, can we do an IUI later tonight, not at like 11pm or anyth….”

At which point Dr. Poor Social Skills cuts me off: “Certainly not. These happen during business hours only. The latest I can do one today is 4:30.”

I try to mumble an apology of sorts like “No, I meant 6pm or something not late,” blah blah. The conversation went on, and I felt really shitty and shut down and misunderstood.

Now granted both of these women came in on their day off to do this insemination, and have been very accommodating. I know they will even come in on a Sunday.

Honestly, I have no idea what the norm is, and I believe doctor’s practices vary greatly in terms of how they do IUIs. I just think she should have told us nicely what her protocol is.

I don’t want to be made to feel guilty, or pushy for asking about an evening IUI. And I hate the fact that most clinics and doctors, to some degree, seem to find our cycles INCONVENIENT. And try to squeeze us into NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS. This seems insane. Insane.

If you are a clinic or a doctor, or a midwife who decides to perform IUIs, please be flexible and patient, and AVAILABLE.

Babies don’t arrive at convenient times, and eggs don’t either.

Buck up, Dr. Poor Social Skills.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

If S wakes up tomorrow and her temp has not spiked, we will do another IUI in the morning. I think that her poor cervix is too traumatized to have me poking around with a speculum and trying to get the sperm in the cervix.

We hope it works, I think it probably didn’t and this is a lousy way to begin the TWW.


8 Responses to “The Inconvenient Truth about Eggs.”

  1. Wendy & Karen Says:

    Yikes. Poor social skills is an understatement. I will tell you, in the way of reassurance, that when we had our IUI, the NP told us before hand that there may be some bleeding because “the cervix is so sensitive, that any little bump can cause bleeding”. Now…if Dr. Poor Social Skills wasn’t being overly careful, then the result would be exactly what you guys got.

    We’re thinking of you all and keeping our fingers, toes and other crossable body parts, crossed for luck (and a much easier 2nd insem if you go for it tomorrow)!

  2. Calliope Says:


    Sorry for all of the extra drama & stress.

    Will be thinking good, “Let this work!” vibes.

  3. Estelle Says:

    Wow. What an ass. Poor social skills is right.
    Hope it works!

  4. Sacha Says:

    When we had our IUI we had a fabu doc. She was so funny, she brought the teneculum into the room and explained what it was, that we didn’t really want to have to use it, and by having it in the room available we were creating some good juju to keep it away.

    And don’t forget the insem that worked for you last time. If I recall, it wasn’t exactly perfect (except that it WAS!)

  5. Co Says:

    I’m so sorry you guys had such an awful experience.

    I don’t know anything yet about IUIs. But I do know that we took Sophia’s advice and chose an R.E. who is affiliated with a clinic that has multiple doctors instead of choosing someone with his/her own practice. That way, if I happen to ovulate at an inconvenient time for my R.E. (when he’s on vacation, e.g.), someone else at the clinic could probably pick up the slack. We’ll have to see, though, how convenient they do or don’t make it for us.

  6. Kate Says:

    Gah. That sucks. I’ve had the tenaculum experience, and in fact it was handled in a similar way (which is to say, not really handled at all). Sorry it was such a stressful experience, but good vibes are headed your way!

  7. hd Says:

    I’m sorry…IUIs can be uncomfortable enough without having someone with awful bedside manners attending. The docs always had to use a tenaculum with me, and I always bled. But the nurse prac that did my last one, the one that worked, literally told me EVERYTHING. SHE. WAS. DOING. before she did it. She held cotton on the cervix until it stopped bleeding. She was so nice and so thorough. What a difference a bit of explanation and courtesy can make.

    Hope this is the one so you guys don’t have to go through this again.

  8. Brooke Says:

    Amen, sister. I find it incredibly frustrating that my body is supposed to be in sync with a business day schedule. Just not gonna happen. And please give many hugs to S for me; I know about the pain of the tenaculum. I KNOW.

    So sorry to hear that what should have been an excitement-filled event turned into something that left a bad taste in your mouth.

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