I want to say that we are in a good place now that the stress of the first insem is over. But that would be a big fat lie.
The truth is that I get so obsessed with TTC that everything else gets put on hold. Maybe for other people the putting of other things on hold is not such a big deal, but for me the rest of my life becomes very unmanageable when I ignore it.
So now that the stress of the insem is over the rest of my life is coming crashing down:
1. Huge financial stress involving massive amounts of debt
2. Crappy friend-who-I’m-not-friends-with-anymore issues
3. How severed relationship with crappy friend effects other friendships
4. My getting clients (for my job) avoidance
5. The isolation I have been doing to myself since I don’t want to go to any events that crappy friend will be at.
6. Low to medium grade depression that is always present
7. Feeling guilty because of how my stress and feeling like a looser effects my son
The TTC whirlwind takes such a huge toll. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, and all I want to do is curl up and get high (which I have not done in 16 years – and don’t plan to), call in sick to work (not an option with a toddler), watch movies all day (not an option with a toddler), and have someone else just fix everything (which is impossible).