Last night our doctor called at 6pm, and we rushed out of the house, heaved the giant shipping container into the car, and said a welcome prayer/blessing/whatever in the driveway on our way to the clinic.
We waited at her (her meaning our OBGYN now known as her Dr. Geeky) office for 10 mins while she prepared to do an ultrasound on another chick. This was after hours so us and this other family are the only ones there.
We had never met Dr. Geeky before, just her midwife. She was super nice, almost a lezzie, you know the type…no makeup or hairstyle, socks on under her Teva sandals.
She led us to an room, had S disrobe and grabbed a fabric drape (white with blue flower) out of a drawer and exclaimed “I just finished sewing this one last week!” It looked like a sheet print from the seventies, all neatly sewn into a rectangle. You know, it was really nice not to have S under a crinkly piece of paper fabric. Homey.
Then she had us help her warm the sperm in a 97 degree water bath. I tried to get the junk out of the nitro tank (because I am trying to take “ownership” of the sperm), but I kept ripping through the gloves as I attempted to squeeze my giant Amazon hands into Dr. Geeky’s size small latex gloves.
Eventually she just took charge and opened the tank, popped out the vial and put it in the bath. I swear to you it would have taken S and I 20 minutes of bumbling and directions reading to do this same simple task.
Then she left us alone to thaw the vial, as she attended to ultrasound chick in the next office. I put the tiny (REALLY TINY) vial in my sweaty hand and we waited. We waited for 10 minutes while she finished up with the other chick.
Um, 10 minutes people.
I started to convince myself that the sperm were dying so I opened and shut our door loudly. Within a few minutes, Dr. Geeky came in and put them into the catheter and shook the last drop onto a slide.
I asked her if I could see, and she said of course and that S could see too, so S wrapped the freshly sewn blue floral drape around her like a beach sarong and we trapsed into the hallway where the microscope was. She looked at the slide and said “Oh, that is one of the best samples I have ever seen.”
I looked first and there were just millions of them. I oohed for a second before S hit me, indicating I must shove over so she could look. Amazing.
Satisfied that these were super great Tall Guy swimmers, we returned to the stirrup table.
S’s cervix looked mighty fertile if I do say so myself. Totally open with a HUGE spooge of clear eggwhite leaking out.
Ladies, I know you can share my excitement here. The joy of a copious amount of EWCM! Trista, thank you for the reminder about relying on other fertility signs (besides OPKs). Informed Chick at the Sperm Bank also told me to check S’s aerobic bc some women don’t get nice eggwhite at the opening of the vajayjay. Sure enough, S was looking positively oozy downtown.
Dr. Geeky showed me how to do the IUI and at my request, gave me a catheter so we could try at home the next day.
We did a vaginal insem today, but that was less fun and I” save it for another post lest I bore you to tears with all this vagina talk.
Anyway, after the deed was done we had sushi, by ourselves, at night. My mom put LM to bed. Happy anniversary to us.
Really though, in classic “us” style, S had to leave dinner right after we got our food because she felt so bloaty and crampy. SO I finished dinner alone. We got home and watched a movie in bed, on our new flat screen computer monitor.
And I kissed her tummy, and made her tea, and we felt some hope…in spite of possible wrong timing, in spite of low chances even if it was timed perfectly, in spite of it all. Hope.
Thank you all for your advice and support through this, I truly don’t know what I would have done without it.