The IUI today from Dr. Poor Social Skills sucked ass.
Touchy Feely Midwife and Dr. Poor Social Skills were both there, a long with LM, becuase we couldn’t find a sitter at 9 frickin am. So we are all jammed in the room, and
Touchy Feely Midwife can’t get the catheter in, so Dr. Poor Social Skills, says “We need to use the teneculum, this might hurt a little.”
S is yelling owwwwwwww, owwwwww, and grimacing, and LM is like “mama hurt?” and I’m like back the fuck off my wife. Then, the catheter went right in, easy as pie.
But when she removed the speculum there was blood dripping off it, onto the crinkly bottom sheet, onto the floor.
So there is S covered in her homemade drape (this time it was orange not floral), looking sad, and I just wanted to say “what the fuck just happened???”
Instead we asked some questions and were assured that this procedure, unlike some things they do to cervixes, leaves no scar and no permanent damage.
Still an explanation would have been nice, a lead in, a are you ok with this, anything other than “this may hurt a little.” Doctors are idiots.
Then, while we are discussing what to do next (i.e. do we do another IUI tonight, or vag insem late tonight, or another IUI tomorrow morning?) I say “well, can we do an IUI later tonight, not at like 11pm or anyth….”
At which point Dr. Poor Social Skills cuts me off: “Certainly not. These happen during business hours only. The latest I can do one today is 4:30.”
I try to mumble an apology of sorts like “No, I meant 6pm or something not late,” blah blah. The conversation went on, and I felt really shitty and shut down and misunderstood.
Now granted both of these women came in on their day off to do this insemination, and have been very accommodating. I know they will even come in on a Sunday.
Honestly, I have no idea what the norm is, and I believe doctor’s practices vary greatly in terms of how they do IUIs. I just think she should have told us nicely what her protocol is.
I don’t want to be made to feel guilty, or pushy for asking about an evening IUI. And I hate the fact that most clinics and doctors, to some degree, seem to find our cycles INCONVENIENT. And try to squeeze us into NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS. This seems insane. Insane.
If you are a clinic or a doctor, or a midwife who decides to perform IUIs, please be flexible and patient, and AVAILABLE.
Babies don’t arrive at convenient times, and eggs don’t either.
Buck up, Dr. Poor Social Skills.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
If S wakes up tomorrow and her temp has not spiked, we will do another IUI in the morning. I think that her poor cervix is too traumatized to have me poking around with a speculum and trying to get the sperm in the cervix.
We hope it works, I think it probably didn’t and this is a lousy way to begin the TWW.