My current freak out is…What If It Works (WIIW). We have had such a complicated road full of so many choices, some we opted out of, some that were opted out of for us. So it feels REALLY scary all of a sudden to think that this frozen IUI might actually work. We are not scared of having another baby, but of how we will have this baby. The other half of the genes.
In February (don’t get me started) we chose two top candidates at the sperm bank. One is available his week and in time for S’s ovulation, one is not. Number one we will call Tall Dude, number two we will call Dimples. We like the physicality of Tall Dude, we like the personality of Dimples. But we cant use Dimples until August, and even then we may not be able to get his goods because the wait list is full (a spot could open up, or not).
Thus, the problem of WIIW. I am assuming that we just need to start our odds process, of course it won’t work right away. However, WIIW? Then we have a baby with half of Tall Guy’s genes. S likes Dimples better.
We were gonna switch back and forth month to month from Tall Guy to Dimples. But who do we start with? And are we mentally prepared to make the switch away from a KD forever, in 5 days?
Oh, also I’m not sure that y’all know that the reason we were so attached to a KD is because our son has a KD.
So now we will have one kid who knows all of his genes, who is related to both of us, and one who, well, won’t and isn’t. It is a lot to let go of.