dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

wiiw July 3, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 4:06 pm

My current freak out is…What If It Works (WIIW). We have had such a complicated road full of so many choices, some we opted out of, some that were opted out of for us. So it feels REALLY scary all of a sudden to think that this frozen IUI might actually work. We are not scared of having another baby, but of how we will have this baby. The other half of the genes.

In February (don’t get me started) we chose two top candidates at the sperm bank. One is available his week and in time for S’s ovulation, one is not. Number one we will call Tall Dude, number two we will call Dimples. We like the physicality of Tall Dude, we like the personality of Dimples. But we cant use Dimples until August, and even then we may not be able to get his goods because the wait list is full (a spot could open up, or not).

Thus, the problem of WIIW. I am assuming that we just need to start our odds process, of course it won’t work right away. However, WIIW? Then we have a baby with half of Tall Guy’s genes. S likes Dimples better.

We were gonna switch back and forth month to month from Tall Guy to Dimples. But who do we start with? And are we mentally prepared to make the switch away from a KD forever, in 5 days?

Oh, also I’m not sure that y’all know that the reason we were so attached to a KD is because our son has a KD.

So now we will have one kid who knows all of his genes, who is related to both of us, and one who, well, won’t and isn’t. It is a lot to let go of.

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4 Responses to “wiiw”

  1. Lo Says:

    I hear you. I wish I had something useful to say, but I don’t.

    It’s one of the reasons we were hesitant to consider using a KD who is related to me for Co, because we have no obvious parallel KD to use for me. Also because we initially had the idea that we wanted both the kids to have the same biological father, and unless you are the lietenant governor of Crazytown like my mom, we’re not using MY cousin for both of us.

    but it was actually YOU who helped me get over that hump by pointing out that we could never really guarantee that both kids would have the same donor, that no one can guarantee that….I know it’s not the same thing, but, you will have two beautiful wonderful kids. (And am I correct that you’re using ID-release? that’s something.)

  2. CD & SP Says:

    whose spermies swim faster? check the motility and go with the highest. that is my suggestion from my experience with frozen sperm. we did 2 IUIs with a low-motility guy (who obviously didn’t work for us) and are onto a different donor with a motility that is about twice as fast/potent.

  3. Tamsin Says:

    I can see now why it’s quite so hard to let go of having a KD for your second child, if it results in “inequality” (perceived or otherwise), between your offspring. That is a very difficult situation to come to terms with. How much contact is there with #1’s KD? Ah, just re-read your posting and I take it that he is related to S?

    However, you can only do the best that you can with the conditions that you’ve got at this time. You have tried so hard to work things out on the KD front, and that’s as much as you can do.
    And if you are planning on switching back and forth between Tall Guy & Dimples each month anyway, I’d try not to worry about it too much that you would be starting with Tall Guy first if you go for it this month, as it will be a complete lottery as to which one ends up “doing the deed”. I know it’s a lot easier for an outsider to say all of this though, than to feel at peace with it yourself :o(
    Just go for it, it will probably be a relief to actually get started with actively ttc, after all the delays and frustrations.
    Good luck!

  4. M. Says:

    Yeah, that sucks. I worry too that if we manage to get Sacha pg with #1 with our KD that he won’t be available for some reason for #2, even though he plans to be. There isn’t anyone else we could imagine using so we would probably have to use frozen. In that case, I think we’d use the rainbow sperm bank because at least the child could know who their donor was starting as a young child (even if we weren’t able to pick him out as a real person).


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