I am feeling better today. Better about baby stuff, worse about friendship stuff. I’m just pissed. And disappointed.
Checked my sitemeter today to see who’s reading. Just wondering who my readers are in Redwood City, CA, San Francisco, and Morley, Leeds in the UK, and many other of you fine folks from the US and Australia, Canada, and Germany (well I know who you are from Germany, all fancy and pregnant and feeling the baby – can’t wait until we join you in the over this sucky part and on to the pregnant part).
Also, please let me know if you are feeling positively great about frozen sperm, cause I could use the pep.
dosmamas 
Hi Charlotte!
Yup, I am your German reader, and I read you often! I’m sorry I haven’t commented, but honestly, I have NO idea what to say. The shit that your PKD but you guys through—well that was SHITTY! I still can’t believe it! I think I would have had a tantrum in the cafe, you know, do that “splash the glass of water in his face” that they do in the movies. That wouldn’t have helped the situation, but I would have felt better!
Anyway, what I wanted to say was. FORGET HIM!! FORGET HIS WIFE!! Go for the frozen sperm!! Make a baby! It may cost a bit more money, but it’ll save you your nerves!
::HUGS::
Hi Charlotte.
We may be your Leeds, UK readers (well, close enough – I don’t know how accurate these sitemeters are).
I too think your experience with your PKD was crappy in the extreme. How can these people have been so wrapped up in their own feelings about this that they didn’t think about your feelings. And it’s not like you didn’t give them enough markers about what you needed to know from them – you were very clear and direct from what I can tell.
I’m really sorry it didn’t work out, but, as someone has already said, better now than later.
Sorry too that you missed this cycle with the frozen stuff, but I have my fingers crossed for you for next month.
About the frozen…you know, I think you just have to let yourself grieve if that’s what you need to do. I remember when the KD door swung shut for us; it was devestating. But somehow, time has made the idea of using frozen something not just easier to swallow, but something to get excited about. If nothing else, perhaps you might be able to recall your initial reaction to the sperm bank? I remember that when you wrote that post, it made me feel a whole lot better about the one choice left to us. But hey, it may take time for you to get back to that place, & that’s okay.
I’m so sorry the PKD didn’t work out the way you’d hoped. I do agree with Brooke – let yourself grieve the loss of the KD method. But please don’t despair of the frozen sperm route. This is, of course, a very personal preference issue. We’re using frozen sperm (IUI #2 is this weekend) and we really do feel good about it. It’s admittedly a little strange – sort of like the Build-A-Baby Workshop – but it’s great to be able to look for donors that resemble M (I’ll be the pregnant one) and that have a good solid medical history, etc. I wish you all the luck in the world!
frozen sperm RULES!!!!!!
ok, it’s not as good as the fresh stuff, BUT you have more control.
I hate this sucky situation ya’ll are in. xoxo
Another vote for frozen swimmers here!
Give yourself plenty of time to grieve, and then have a grand ole time sifting through the audio clips, essays and profiles! There’s enough good ones out there to get excited about, and goofy ones thrown in the mix are at least good for a giggle 🙂
Following your advice, Co and I really did have some good times going over the frozen sperm profiles. We even got excited about 2 of them. So barring a miracle, that’s where we’ll be heading, and we do feel some weird affection for those profiles (and they’re just the short ones).
and it is less complicated legally.
And, you know, as they all tell me, it’s about the *baby*…
Glory – we have just almost been through a similar process – 6 month wait with a known donor who pulled out at the last moment and this week we start with frozen.
I am hoping frozen is OK – I feel a bit conflicted about frozen, but you know at least you don’t have to deal with anyone else in the picture!
Good luck, take care and go the frozen
hi charlotte i am your tennessee reader!^__^
hugs tonya
frozen sperm could be better and you have more control over it.
good luck and hugs tonya
Seriously – frozen sperm rocks. The only bummer is the lower number of swimmers and shorter life span, but that is so outweighed by the “no complications by involving a third person” aspect of it all. It’s hard enough TTC. you don’t need to have anothers persons issues all over it too.
I thought I would feel a little bit weird by the anonymous sperm factor, but haven’t at all. It’s felt right from the first IUI and I feel like this donor is the one for us. I bet you guys will feel really relieved that it all just involves the two of you from here on in. I can understand wanting to use a KD, but there’s benefits to this way too!
The thing that excites me about frozen sperm is that there it’s just us and the sperm and not other humans complicating things! No KDs and partners messing with our emotional wellbeing. Sometimes it feels good to be in control especially when we control so little about TTC.
Best of luck.