It is a no. We were expecting a no, but NOT in a FUCKING public place, NOT in a cafe right after ordering, NOT after having it set up in the following way:
S told Him look, if it is a straight up no, just tell me now, so we don’t have an emotional restaurant experience, we just want to know right now so we can have our reaction. HE says wwe had a great session with the counselor, it is not a straight up no, and we want to tell you together. So S tells me this and we head to lunch confused…expecting a yes, and formulating our own questions and stuff.
So we get there and He says, they had a great session, grew as a couple, blah, blah, we can’t do it right now, because we don’t know what’s going on with our family yet. I expected this, but not after expecting a fucking yes for 2 hours. And then we are like, so it’s a no. And they are like, no it’s just that we can’t do it right now.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.
We did not ask you if you could help us have our baby at some point in the coming YEARS. And to that you are saying maybe.
No, we asked if you can help us now. So admit, for god’s sake that you are saying NO. The answer is NO.
And don’t tell us no in a fucking cafe, after a lead up that makes us think it is a yes. And take responsibility for saying NO. NO sucks. NO is way worse than ‘we probably can after we figure out our own family’. So admit it, say NO. Jesus, we deserve that, at least.
Additionally because I did not get our act together earlier in the month like I said I was, we will now have to miss the July ovulation (at the sperm bank) as well.
I know you all “told me so”. I know everyone thinks we are stupid for not saying no ourselves months ago. And we are.
We are also back to square one after 5 months…only with less money and more pessimism.
P.S. S and I did talk to Him a few hours later and told him we were mad about the way they told us etc. He immediately appologized and told us that they did not think it through well at all, they just did not want to keep us waiting. I also told him we will need some TIME, and that I’m upset, even though I don’t want to be. He said he understands if we are angry for a while and to take our time, and appologized again ofr the wait, the way they wold us and just the whole thing in general. I do not hate them, or think they are bad folks. It was not an intentional set up, just insensitive. Just to be fair I must say that they both feel really super badly, blah, blah, blah.