two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I’m back. June 15, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 5:45 pm

Phew. I’m finally back. I was feeling like I couldn’t blog while imagining The Wife reading it. So I asked her last night not to (she hadn’t been). So.

I remain pretty sure it is going to be a ‘no.’ The Wife and I hung out yesterday before she and PKD cam over for dinner. We talked some about it, and it turns out she is truly on the fence. 50/50. At this point in the game that is not good enough for me. They are meeting with a midwife who counsels lesbians and known donors, helps negotiate contracts, and performs inseminations. She is about an hour and a half drive, and $170 for an hour consultation.

I must wonder why they are taking time off work and paying that much. I think she just really wants to say yes, but come on. They go a week from Friday. The Wife kinda wants this woman to tell her what to do. To tell her, ‘you don’t sound ready’, or ‘everything will work out just fine’.

I feel like DUDE, if you are only 50% yes, there is no frickin way you can get to 100% in a few weeks. As many of you have already told me, it shouldn’t be this hard. I told her as much. If she needs permission to say no she has it. I can’t imagine the pressure she feels, with all three of us wanting to go ahead. She muct feel so shmucky. I absolutely would not want to be in her position, or ours.

But we want an enthusiastic yes, not a reluctant one.

We don’t want this to be painful for anyone.

So I can only assume it is a no for us, regardless of what she says. So onto frozen, unless there is a dramatic, believable, honest, from-her-gut shift.

We were here in fucking February. Only it was better in February. We had just returned from the sperm bank…we were feeling jazzed about our meeting and all of the personal and physical information we got. We were ready to go.

Now we are set back 5 months, and once again disappointed in frozen sperm. I suppose we can get back to the happy sperm popsicle place. We actually entertained the idea of paying another $60 for a consultation, just because it felt good at the lesbian sperm bank.


3 Responses to “I’m back.”

  1. Calliope Says:

    WELCOME BACK!! (missed you)

    I am so bummed that the PKD story is unfolding this way. I know it has been a very tough situation for all of you. But I agree with you- if this woman is 50/50 (STILL) at this point it kinda makes you wonder what would seal the deal? What is stopping her from being a 100%?

  2. Lo Says:

    I missed you too.
    Best wishes, however it goes…

  3. M. Says:

    Welcome back! We thought you were gone for good and that was NO good. I figured that you just felt uncomfortable with The Wife reading. I would too.

    I personally would feel very uncomfortable using them at this point when there are so many mixed feelings on her part. Sounds like she’s a “can’t do but wants to be able to do” and if she’s really a can’t do, she should just let it go and you two should move on. You’ve waited far, far too long for them.

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