dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Mother’s Day Shmother’s Day May 12, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 5:29 am


I don’t like Mother’s Day anymore.

I know that it is not homophobic that we have “Mother’s Day” instead of two Sundays in a row that are Mother’s Day A and Mother’s Day B, where lesbian moms still get to feel pampered and special. I mean, we really are sharing a role. We are both mothers. Most of the time that is the greatest thing ever, but on Mother’s Day I feel weird about it. It is as if we don’t get the proper differentiation. The specialness that comes from being the mom, or the dad.

And really, folks, I don;’t think this is a semantic issue. Neither S nor I get to be the mom and all that it means archetypally, culturally, spiritually. There are two of us. And we share our role. Sharing is great. And I love that LM has two moms, I mean how lucky is he? But sometimes when you share a role, or a job or anything, the burden is lessened, but you don’t get all the credit either. Am I making any sense???

I am assuming that most two mom households are brimming with “we are both mothers” joy, and please brim away! We are feelin’ a little less than abundant these days. One of my best friends just found out she’s pregnant! And I cannot begrudge her AT ALL, because I love her, but also becuase I helped her deliver her dead 22 week old baby on New Years day. So I am very happy she’s pregnant. I’m just sad that we are not.

And back to Mother’s Day: throw in S’s mom, my mom and my grandma, who all must be “celebrated,” and we may have to split up (S to her moms and me to my moms) well, it’s enough to make me hate the whole g-damn day.

P.S. I am though, so grateful to be a mom that I tear up at the mere thought. It is more beautiful and challenging than I ever imagined.

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3 Responses to “Mother’s Day Shmother’s Day”

  1. Lo Says:

    Wow, I have had this thought more than one time, Charlotte. Thanks for expressing it so eloquently. (As you said: I don’t mind sharing the role with Co, and I in fact I look forward to doing so….but we’ll be sharing the role. I wasn’t THE bride and I won’t be THE mom and on the one hand I TOTALLY endorse that and on the other hand…..what you said.)

  2. ~ danielle Says:

    Mother’s Day has always been anti-climactic around here. Heather asked Bub if he wanted to celebrate it this year (we’ve been talking about it since both of our mothers are coming up tomorrow) and he said yes, until he realized there weren’t presents for him involved (he’s a big fan of all holidays involving presents). I don’t know, I just never felt driven to celebrate it. I think because the focus (when it was just Bub) was on me because I was his vessel and I just felt weird leaving Heather out, but weird sharing the focus too. Now that Ms. Baby is here (and Heather was her vessel), I feel like I should do something for Heather. But we are both mom so why does it feel that way? It’s so complicated!

  3. one of two mommies Says:

    so feeling you on this… not getting to be the mom can be hard sometimes.


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