I know that it is not homophobic that we have “Mother’s Day” instead of two Sundays in a row that are Mother’s Day A and Mother’s Day B, where lesbian moms still get to feel pampered and special. I mean, we really are sharing a role. We are both mothers. Most of the time that is the greatest thing ever, but on Mother’s Day I feel weird about it. It is as if we don’t get the proper differentiation. The specialness that comes from being the mom, or the dad.
And really, folks, I don;’t think this is a semantic issue. Neither S nor I get to be the mom and all that it means archetypally, culturally, spiritually. There are two of us. And we share our role. Sharing is great. And I love that LM has two moms, I mean how lucky is he? But sometimes when you share a role, or a job or anything, the burden is lessened, but you don’t get all the credit either. Am I making any sense???
I am assuming that most two mom households are brimming with “we are both mothers” joy, and please brim away! We are feelin’ a little less than abundant these days. One of my best friends just found out she’s pregnant! And I cannot begrudge her AT ALL, because I love her, but also becuase I helped her deliver her dead 22 week old baby on New Years day. So I am very happy she’s pregnant. I’m just sad that we are not.
And back to Mother’s Day: throw in S’s mom, my mom and my grandma, who all must be “celebrated,” and we may have to split up (S to her moms and me to my moms) well, it’s enough to make me hate the whole g-damn day.
P.S. I am though, so grateful to be a mom that I tear up at the mere thought. It is more beautiful and challenging than I ever imagined.