**Before I get started I wanted to say: for a bit of fun go to http://www.google.com – type: failure – click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” tab. Hah!**
OK folks, here’s the sad scoop:
KD came over last night to do a conference call with us and The Wife.
Their answer is…maybe.
They need more time.
They need to wait until she comes (5 1/2 weeks away) to make a final decision. She apologized for the change from ‘yes’ to ‘maybe’, but they are trying to figure out what is best for their family and ours. The Wife has been confused, stressed trying to finish school, stressed about moving, stressed about being so far from her husband, stressed about donorship. She is having trouble separating out her feelings. She has been feeling really possessive of his sperm and sad that the 1st genetic baby of his will not be hers.
I want to be mad at her but truly, I would be feeling the same feelings. And she wants to talk to some other folks who have donated, be able to talk to her husband regularly. She can’t tell if her other life stressors are being transfered onto the donorship issue. When she gets here she’s into going to a few sessions with a counselor with us, someone who has dealt with this issue. You gotta give it to her, she isn’t giving up.
It all makes perfect sense, really.
But for S. and I, well, we are beyond disappointed. And there is more waiting. I can barely stand it. Part of me wants to go running to the sperm bank, but we can’t even afford to do that right now, even if we want to. Plus, we are hearty folk. I think we will end up sticking it out with PKD (sadly, the P must return), and seeing what happens. Who knows.
So our big decision is: WE ARE TAKING A BREAK.
We are taking a month off of making any baby decisions, we are taking a month off of talking about it all the time, we are taking a month off of stressing out about it all the time.
I’m not sure what this means in terms of blogging. I think I may need to take a break from the computer as well. Maybe take an Aikido class, or pottery, have some sex, make some lasagne. Maybe I can blog about other stuff. We’ll see.
We so desperately need a break. We need to reconnect with each other. We need to reconnect with LM and spend some time enjoying the family we already are.
I am attempting not to spend the day crying.