two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

I Cannot Thank You Enough April 4, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 10:08 pm

I simply do not know what I would do without your support. Each comment I get. Each one of you. I feel like I would really loose it if 1. I was not writing about this and 2. no one could relate. And even if you don’t relate, the fact that you understand and care, well, it really leaves me speechless.

And for those of you not commenting out of fear, or not knowing what to say…I invite you to. I love every comment I get, even when people disagree. So comment Away, one word or 19 paragraphs.

I love you gals. I still feel like shit, but I am really trying to trust this process. The Wife is entitled to a freak out, I just wish we knew better how to balance what we should discuss and not discuss. Maybe it would be easier if I knew nothing about it. But KD would have a hard time keeping it from S. and we keep asking him how she is.

I mean how would things be if S. had told KD about my crush process, while it was happening. They would have run screaming. But it was appropriate to tell him later.

Sometimes total honesty is really emeshment. I guess we are learning. Not only about friendship and honesty, but how our families will relate to one another during this process and really for the rest of our lives. Holy crap.


8 Responses to “I Cannot Thank You Enough”

  1. Whimsy Says:

    it’s amazing…

    I always debate about commenting, esp. when I have nothing productive to say, just one of those *hug* hang in there type messages…

    Depending on my mood they make me feel better or they annoy me and frustrate me. It’s a hard call.

    It’s crazy to think about this process. Thousands of people go OOOPS every year, yet it’s actually pretty damn hard to GET pregnant, even for some str8 couples.

    Weird. That’s all.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Uhm, yeah…

    I’ve been watching/reading from afar for a while, and thinking a lot about our known donors. We had one known donor that I did crush on a bit, but I never discussed it with him because it’s a business relationship. We now have another known donor who’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to know us, and to be honest, he’s 15 years younger than we are so we don’t have a lot in common with him. I wonder if you’re not expecting more than a simple business relationship, and I wonder if you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment with both KD and the wife? It just all seems way more intense and emotionally exhausting than it needs to be. Clearly you’re very insightful and value honesty with yourself and the people in your life, so you might want to do some internal work to get at your own thwarted hidden expectations?

    At any rate, good luck. Having a KD doesn’t have to be so hard, I promise!


  3. art-sweet Says:

    I’ve kept my mouth pretty closed through this b/c you are expressing both the reasons I wanted a KD and the reasons we ultimately chose not to use one.

    I would be crawling up the walls and tearing my hair out in your shoes.

    So if you’re just howling in frustration – well, I think you’re doing pretty good all things considering.

  4. jennifer Says:

    good luck

  5. Anonymous Says:

    I forgot to mention that we actually treated finding a known donor as filling a job opening and put an ad out and everything, so we didn’t go for people we already knew. The situation is really different from yours. If things fall apart (god forbid) with your current donor, you might consider going that route. It’s less enmeshing.


  6. Co Says:

    Hi, Charlotte.

    I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling supported by our wonderful blogging community. I, too, cannot imagine going through this without you and everyone else.

    I support you guys and wish the best for you. I don’t think you should give up on this KD. It may well get better once the wife is physically closer, or even just after she has had a chance to mull it over fully.

    But I do think you should consider all this waffling of KD’s wife and how it makes you feel. If she’s doing this now, she could do it later, too. And it’ll be 10 times more stressful if she does it later. Anyway, it sucks that KD is so invested but the wife can’t make up her mind.

    I’m not sure that is helpful. Probably not. But that’s what I’ve been thinking and not officially posting recently.

  7. Sarah and BB Says:

    I too have been following your story, but I haven’t really said anything because I didn’t really know what to say!! 🙂

    This roller coaster of emotions and feelings that you guys are going through seems so unreal!! I think I would have thrown in the towel months ago!!

    Too much drama for me!

    But I am so glad you guys are trying so hard to make it work. And that even is made to feel as comfortable as possible.

    I think waiting until the wife is back in town, so that everyone can be on the same page, will be a lot better on everyone’s nerves.

    Good Luck and hang in there!!

    {{HUGS}} from Germany

  8. hd Says:

    I feel you. It’s nice to know we’re all on the same ocean, even if we’re not in identical boats.

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