dosmamas

two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Letter to PKD March 1, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 7:27 am


Ok, I want to tell PKD how I feel about him, but he’s S’s friend, and I get all nervous around him. So I was going to email him the following letter.

PLEASE tell me if you think it is too blunt or needy or weird in any way. Anything I should add, subtract or make more articulate??????

Dear PKD,

I wanted to write you an email because I have not found a way to just say this to you in person. Whether or not you actually become our donor, I want you to know how deeply grateful I am that you are willing to do it. It feels like the most important gift anyone can give us.

When thinking of an ideal donor, I could not have imagined a more perfect match for S. and I than you. Physically of course, you are great – S. and I both think you are hot, you are tall, great bone structure, an incredibly beautiful voice. Your family members look like me! But really I would love for you to be our donor because of who you are. I appreciate that you are honest, authentic, funny, smart and quite charming, and can only hope that if you help us make a child he or she would inherit all of these qualities.

Yet more than the sum of all of your qualities – your character and looks – to me it just feels right for you to be our donor . This feeling was immediate and undeniable. S. told me how deeply she connected with you, so I knew you must be a fabulous person, but I was still surprised to immediately love you. I have never felt so safe, and so fearless about any donor helping to get S. pregnant, in my stead. I did not imagine that I was capable of feeling so enthusiastic about any donor, until it happened with you.

In addition, the idea that we would be tied to you for life, in some capacity, feels relieving and also very cool, rather than scary. We like you and we trust you and would love for you to be in our lives, regardless of whether you become our donor.

I hope that this does not freak you out, or pressure you in any way. Of course I understand that many hurdles remain. I would never want this to interfere with your friendship with S.. I still have a many questions. And if your wife says no, or you change your mind at any point, we will completely understand. Truly. We do have other options. I just wanted to officially tell you why I would love for you to be our donor.

All my love and friendship,
Charlotte

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8 Responses to “Letter to PKD”

  1. Lo Says:

    So, I am probably in some ways NOT a good person to comment on this, because I am very intense (that specific adjective is frequently used to describe me, alas) and it will be good for you to get feedback from calm, sane, rational people.
    That being said, I’m going to open my big mouth anyway: I like it. It actually empowers me a little in terms of what I/we should and shouldn’t share with PKD at this point in the process (and I am quite seriously interested in other people’s comments about the letter). I personally am feeling similarly “excited” that we may have found a really, really perfect ideal person, and therefore anxious that it may fall apart, and therefore (being me) eager to explain why I think it is a good idea, yet without pressure.

  2. Merr Says:

    I think a letter is fine. I always need to write my feelings down, and I think it helps to let him know how very appreciative you are of him, even if it does not work out.

  3. Calliope Says:

    I love how you call him hot & then say that you look like him…hee hee.

    I think it is very well said. It is to the point and pretty direct as far as coming right out & saying, ‘I want this’. Which I like. This sort of decision is not for the wishy washy.

    It would only scare him away if he has not been thinking about the heavy stuff- specifically that you three will be connected for life.

  4. charlotte Says:

    Calliope, he actually has already mentioned the life long aspect and thinks it would be great. I think his wife maybe has questions about it.

  5. Kiles Says:

    I think the letter is perfect, I am sure PKD will be honoured to recieve it.

  6. Calliope Says:

    would it be weird to write to the wife??

  7. charlotte Says:

    I dont know. We are supposed to meet with the wife in a little over a week, to discuss this with her. (she is currently out of state and will be here visiting mid march and permanently in May. Not how we will talk about it, or exactly where she’s comming from. What would I even write to the wife?

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